Our Uzbekistan Adoption Journey

Remember When?

2010-03-10T14:08:00.007-05:00

Well, today's the day. One year ago today, the mayor finally signed the decree to make Myli our daughter! In a lots of ways, it's hard to believe it's been a year, but it also seems like a lifetime ago that we were in Uzbekistan. Seems like a dream...

I had pictured for so long what it would be like to dress Myli in all the clothes that had waited for her so long and walk her out the front door of the orphanage! I stared at pictures of that front door wondering what it would be like. In many ways it was a lot different than I had imagined. It was dark by the time we had finished gathering all the necessary documents and headed to the orphanage. Myli ran out and tried to get in the car immediately, but we had to go in for some business and of course some goodbye's and thank-you's. But she just could not wait to leave! It was almost a little unnerving to think that she was so willing to go with us and so happy to leave all of her friends. I realize now that she just didn't have a good understanding of how far away "America" really was and how permanent most of these goodbye's really were :( She wanted to see what was in my bag (just like every time we came to visit) while we were in the director's office. When I showed her the pretty new clothes for her to wear, she started stripping right there in the office! I was rather surprised but no one else thought much of it :) She ended up deciding to keep the pants she had on rather than exchanging them for the thick tights I had brought to go with her new jumper-style dress. She was quite a sight in her red warm-up pants, brown and pink dress, and then she started putting on her pink hat and gloves with red cheeks to match as she got over-heated (she refused to take them off!). We spent a lot of time just waiting - for what I'm not sure, maybe to give the appropriate caregivers gifts, which we did, and said some thank-you's and good-bye's. And then finally, we were leaving!

It was very emotional watching Myli say good-bye and give hugs to the other kids. One girl who had told me a few days earlier that she was Myli's "sister" broke into sobbing - it was heartbreaking! I gave her a hug and tried to comfort her. Many kids had smiles on their faces, but tears in their eyes. Myli was ALL smiles - she was absolutely hyper with excitement! And then we finally walked out that front door, I felt like I had the wind knocked right out of me! She asked us through a translator if we could bring one of the older boys because he was her "brother." Time seemed to stand still at that moment. I was so heartbroken at her question - and speechless. It made me realize how hard this was for her even though she wasn't letting on at all. I don't think I was prepared enough for the mixed feelings - on one hand so happy to be taking her home FINALLY and on the other, I felt so horrible taking her away from everything and everyone she had ever known and loved. I had no idea how to answer her, but the translator reassured her that his parents would come for him someday (I won't even go to how emotional that explanation was to me), but that seemed to satisfy her and she went with us happily after that, not even looking back.

We went out to dinner with the coordinator, deputy director, another official, and the translator (you wouldn't believe how many people we crammed into that car - insane!) even though it was late and I was anxious to make the long drive and tuck Myli into bed - I could tell she was EXHAUSTED! At dinner, the translator asked me how I felt. I told him that of course I was thrilled to finally have our daughter with us, but it was so strange knowing that everyone at that dinner table knew her better than we did! His words stuck with me for a long time - he said in two months that will all change, in 2 months you will know her better than anyone. How wise and reassuring that was! The two month mark was the first one that was imprinted on my mind. And he was right, at 2 months, I knew that I finally knew my daughter more than all the people at the table :)

We spent about 2 more weeks in Uzbekistan before it was time to head home. The last day was a holiday, Navruz - the first day of spring, I think. Myli wore a traditional cap-style hat with large gold sequins hanging down. It had been a beautiful day of dancing and festivities. We ended the day in the park near the hotel, and I was surprised how emotional and torn I felt about leaving. I couldn't wait to get home to our other kids (understatement of the century!), but it was so hard to think about taking Myli away from the only home she had ever known. I knew she needed a family and had so much to look forward to in her new home, but how I grieved all she was losing!

When we finally got home, I was again overwhelmed somehow with both joy and grief. It was such a joy to have our family all together after all the years of anticipation, but I was surprised how hard it was for me to see the kids' pictures all over the house. I was so glad I had made an effort to put pictures of Myli in every room, but there were so many of the other kids all in various stages of their childhoods. Pictures of me pregnant, pictures of them as babies, so many memories... So many memories I didn't have with Myli, so much history we didn't share. Constant reminders of all we hadn't shared...

But now we have shared the experiences of the whole last year. I can't explain how awesome it is to say to her, "remember when..." and we can remember together! There's so much of her life I have missed, but we have history now. We share memories. We share inside jokes and secrets. We share hopes and dreams. We have a relationship. We are mother and daughter. We are family.

God's Grace

2010-02-28T21:03:00.004-05:00

There have been so many things on my heart that I have wanted to share this past year in case it might encourage someone in this often times difficult adoption journey. We have gone through so much in the last 3 years, but I just haven't even had words for it up to this point. I still don't think my words could adequately express everything I've been feeling and thinking about, so please forgive my ramblings! I think I do have a perspective I didn't have before now. I can see how God's grace paved the way for our adoption, helped me overcome great fear, and has sustained and grown us over the last year of adjustment.

A year ago tonight, Scott and I and the kids prayed together and had one last family hug before taking them over to Scott's sister's house where we would leave them for 3 weeks. All of the great fears in my life converged in one single moment - I was leaving my kids, leaving this country (had always been my goal NOT to), and traveling by airplane for 17 hours!

I know people do this all the time, but for me, this was absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done in my life so far. I thought after 2 years of waiting to finally meet our daughter, I'd be more than willing to jump on that plane - riding on the wings if necessary! And it's probably a good thing that I felt that determined because when we got finally got the call and realized that I was going to sign temporary custody of my kids over to my family and not see or talk to them for at least 3 weeks and have to get on that plane and fly half way around the world, I just cannot tell you what sheer panic I went through! For most people flying is probably a bit of a nuisance in the course of getting to a destination, but for me it is terrifying! I truly feel that when I decide to get on a plane, there is about a 50/50 chance I actually will reach my destination! I flew once about 11 years ago for about 2 hours each way and decided that was plenty for me! Never again! It was a very good thing we found a country where there was an escort option and travel was not required. But of course, God had other plans... So I am already a complete wreck by the night before we are to leave and during our family hug, Woogie begins to just wail and scream and cry like I've never heard her before... Begging and pleading with us not to leave. And then the boys started crying. It was awful, just awful.

I can look back now and see how God was preparing me for that moment for many years, gently strengthening my faith and desire to do His will above all else. Confirming and reconfirming that He was in our adoption journey. And calling me to get on that plane long before I even knew I would have the opportunity. A verse in Joshua became very important to me as we prepared for our adoption - "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." At the time, I took that quite figuratively - that God would walk with us through our adoption. We shouldn't be afraid to go through this process, but it ended up that I clung to the literal meaning of this as we journeyed so far from home and anything familiar. I'm so glad He had all of that worked out ahead of time, because it was still almost unbearable to say goodbye to our hysterical kids and put our suitcase in the car and start to drive to the airport - I was physically ill. After that, I started to feel some ease in my fear. Almost like since I had forced myself to take the first step, it was done and I could relax just a bit. No sleep and a very bumpy flight to New York on a flying bus (what I called the ridiculously small plane!) resulted in me crying the whole flight, but God did give me little things to ease the way, and by the time we got to the international flight, I had such peace. I just kept thinking that this was the plane to Myli! I know that this was only by God's grace! I even slept a bit during the flight! Even though we weren't even sure we would be able to bring her home with us on this trip, I just had an incredible peace that somehow this was all going to work out.

Our pastor described God's grace this morning as "When I am weak, God is strong." The last three years of my life can only be described as God's grace. The almost unbearable wait and uncertainty and the trip where all my fears came together in a perfect storm. And then on March 10th, we were given a long-awaited child who we suddenly realized we knew next to nothing about, and we were told she was our daughter! It has been nothing short of a miracle this last year to experience God's grace on our family. We have been weak - He has been strong. He has met our needs and carried us in ways I never imagined and we are stronger for the journey and for having Myli in our family. Even in the beginning, when almost every minute with our new daughter was a struggle, I was rejoicing because I have never felt God's grace so tangibly - like He was wrapping me in it, giving me just what I needed to get through each day and fall into a deep sleep at night. Grace that gave me the peace to know that things would get better. Grace to see that our new daughter was a beautiful treasure even when that was not so obvious. Grace that allowed me to see every day with her and just ordinary moments as miraculous events. Grace that gave me incredible hope for her future. Oh, and Myli is not our daughter's real name, but I will share the real middle name we quickly gave her when our paperwork was being filled out, never dreaming the meaning it would take on in our lives - her middle name is Grace.

How Behind Am I?! - First Day of School!

2009-12-28T21:46:00.006-05:00

Zoo - Finally

2009-09-26T23:09:00.011-04:00

Wow! Six months makes a big difference!

2009-09-15T16:33:00.003-04:00

Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

2009-09-01T09:01:00.004-04:00

I can't believe how long it's been since I've updated this! Life has just been SO busy with four kids!!! I still don't think I'm quite used to the amount of laundry, dishes, cooking, shopping, and overall mess, but I'm getting there. We had lots of fun (and Dr. appointments!) over the summer, and the kids are all back in school (and loving it). Well, except for Meatball who starts preschool next week. I have to say it is the paperwork for all the kids that might deter me from having another! It is HARD to get 4 kids ready to go back to school! Meatball had a new ear tube put in right after we got home from Uzbekistan, but it is already out, and we have been battling infections for a while. Myli has had 4 fillings at the dentist and will be going to the eye specialist again soon to decide if she needs a same day surgery for her "lazy eye." Other summer adventures included Woogie's 8th birthday, throwing a surprise anniversary party for my parents, hosting a backyard Bible club, visiting the zoo (oh, I'll have to post those pics - CUTE!), and having the pleasure of a wonderful visit with an amazing fellow Uz adoptive family!!!!!! The last was by far the highlight of the summer!!!!!!!!!

Myli started first grade, and although I had many misgivings about her going to school all day, she seems to be flourishing! I can't say the last 5 1/2 months have been easy with her, it's probably been the most challenging experience I've ever had aside from the adoption experience itself. But it's also been so rewarding watching her blossom into a healthy, vibrant little girl! She has gained 7 pounds and an inch in height, learned to swim, ride a scooter, and ride a bike. The first time we put her on a bike (with training wheels), she couldn't keep her feet on the pedals or steer at all! The scooter was even worse... I was amazed when we took her training wheels off the other day, and she took off by herself!!! She shows a real aptitude for gymnastics and dance. She took one gymnastics class over the summer, but will start regular classes with Woogie next week. She's learning English amazingly well, which we expected from all we had been told, but to experience a child that spoke not one word 5 months ago go from that to understanding much of what we say and communicating well with people outside of our family (and they don't even realize it's not her native language!) is just incredible!

She is a very loving and often times compassionate little girl, and we are bonding very well, I think :) She loves to mother her baby dolls and loves our dog and cats. She and Meatball act as if they are long lost twins, with twin speak to match! I wonder how I will explain to his teachers that he used to be fluent in English, but now tends to speak in broken English mixed with broken Russian... They are just best buddies! Legoboy has taken well to having a new little sister as well. He really has a heart to want to be a special person in her life. And surprise - Myli likes Legos too! She has had a harder time with Woogie. For a girl who so wanted a sister, Woogie has been quite jealous. But some of that is wearing off now, and she's discovering how fun having a sister can be! They like to dress up and put on dance shows for us. It's wonderful :) I must say school shopping with 2 girls is a new (and expensive!) adventure! How fun it was to see Myli just beaming as she twirled around in the dressing room in beautiful, new clothes!

We are looking forward to camping in the mountains of Pennsylvania this weekend with other families from church. I am excited for this experience for Myli's sake as she has very little understanding of the world. I think she thought "America" was another building like the orphanage and it has been hard to explain to her how big this country really is! My camera is broken (again!) - just can't seem to keep the little hands off it. But hopefully, I'll have some new pictures soon. If I was technically gifted, I would do one of those beautiful adoption videos, but since I'm not and I may never :), here's the song that I would use - what an amazing analogy of Myli's life! It makes me cry even cutting and pasting it! LOL!

She's a Butterfly

She remembers when she first got her wings
And how she opened up that day
she learned to sing
Then the colors came, erased the
black and white
And her whole world changed
when she realized

[Chorus:]
She's a butterfly, pretty as the crimson sky
Nothing's ever gonna bring her down
And everywhere she goes
Everybody knows she's so glad to be alive
She's a butterfly

Like the purest light in a darkened world
So much hope inside such a lovely girl
You should see her fly, it's almost magical
It makes you wanna cry, she's so beautiful

[Chorus]

God bless the butterfly,
give her the strength to fly
Never let her wings touch the ground
God bless the butterfly,
give her strength to fly
Never let her wings touch the ground

[Chorus]

God bless the butterfly,
give her the strength to fly
Never let her wings touch the ground
God bless the butterfly,
give her the strenght to fly
Never let her wings touch the ground

Welcome Home Myli/Belated Birthday Party

2009-06-29T10:20:00.007-04:00

When I think of how long I waited to make Myli a birthday cake... So happy we didn't wait until next February!

More Pictures

2009-06-16T08:40:00.006-04:00

Taking a break at the pool

Having to get creative with the hair. Isn't she pretty?!

Picnic dinner with the cousins

Nothing like new summer jammies!

Ok, the boys don't look very happy (I think the sun was in their eyes or maybe they were just annoyed with me that I wanted to take pics and they wanted to swim :)), BUT the girls are holding hands!!!

Matching bathing suits.............$44
Sunscreen...................................$7
Season family swim pass .........$490
New sisters holding hands........Priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pictures!

2009-06-01T10:51:00.008-04:00

We're Home With Myli!

2009-03-23T21:52:00.001-04:00

We finally had our "Gotcha Day" - March 10th! There's a little girl sleeping in the long awaiting bed down the hall. I still can't believe it... Lots to blog about, but still SO tired! Thanks to all who have prayed for us over these last, long 2 years!!!

We're Diving In!

2009-02-16T16:17:00.003-05:00

This was the song played at church Sunday, "Dive" by my favorite singer, Steven Curtis Chapman - one of many that have described my week.... After all this wait, finally a travel date!!!!!! This song describes my emotions so perfectly - so excited, so scared, so overwhelmed! And so thrilled to be part of God's plan for Myli's life!!! I still can't believe this is really happening! I don't know how much I'll post on my blog for a while, so until next post...

The long awaited rains
Have fallen hard upon the thirsty ground
And carved their way to where
The wild and rushing river can be found
And like the rains
I have been carried here to where the river flows yeah
My heart is racing and my knees are weak
As I walk to the edge
I know there is no turning back
Once my feet have left the ledge
And in the rush I hear a voice
Thats telling me its time to take the leap of faith
So here I go

Im diving in Im going deep in over my head I want to be
Caught in the rush lost in the flow in over my head I want to go
The rivers deep the rivers wide the rivers water is alive
So sink or swim I'm diving in

There is a supernatural power
In this mighty rivers flow
It can bring the dead to life
And it can fill an empty soul
And give a heart the only thing
Worth living and worth dying for yeah
But we will never know the awesome power
Of the grace of god
Until we let ourselves get swept away
Into this holy flood
So if you'll take my hand
Well close our eyes and count to three
And take the leap of faith
Come on lets go!

Yet Another Milestone

2008-12-06T21:38:00.002-05:00

It's been a while, but we're still hanging in here! I'm not even sure how many people still read this, but I thought I was long over due for an update!!!

I can hardly believe it was two years ago today, I first saw a mischieveous-looking little girl's picture, never dreaming of how I would come to see her as my own daughter and endure what we have in hopes that one day she will be ours. Someday, I'll have to write about all the growth that has taken place in our lives since that day (I'm just too tired tonight!). As hard as it's been, I think our family is stronger for this journey. God has met us in our helplessness in ways I probably can't even explain, and there is peace. I still can't shake the feeling that although it may take a while longer, that someday, somehow, we will bring Myli home to be our daughter. We've had a lot of ups and downs over the past 2 years, but the last several months have been fairly quiet. We really haven't had a lot of hope to travel and not much has changed. Recently, though, there have been some changes to our situation, but still no idea of when we will travel. It now appears that we will have to make 2 trips after all.

The hardest thing lately has been knowing how much the kids want Myli to come home. Legoboy and Woogie have both been asked separately on a few occassions the question, "If you could have just one gift for Christmas, what would it be?" Both of them replied, without the slightest hesitation, "Myli." Well, of course, they used her REAL name. LOL! I'm so glad they want her so much, and their hearts are so tender, but it was hard to know that I couldn't give them the one thing they really want more than anything - the one thing I want more than anything... But we still believe that God is in control of all of this, and His timing is perfect.

To anyone reading this, I wish you a wonderful and meaningful Christmas!

6 Random Things

2008-10-07T08:47:00.003-04:00

Thanks, Nichole for tagging me! This one was a thinker. I wasn't sure for a while I'd even be able to think of 6 things! I really like my boring life!

1. I hate coffee. ALthough, there is this cold brew coffee from Arabica that isn't bitter. I can drink it, but I wouldn't go out of my way for it! Everyone used to tell me that I'd start drinking coffee in college. When that didn't happen, people said for sure I'd start drinking it after I had kids. Nope! What I want to know is if it's an acquired taste, how do you acquire it?! I'll just stick to my tea (chai preferably). Downside - I'm not a morning person. Upside - I'm not addicted to caffeine!

2. I love reading about life in the 19th century. Right now, I'm reading the Little House on the Prairie series to my kids (Legoboy is the only one that sits still long enough to really enjoy it!). Sometimes I think I would have rather lived then - when life was hard but simple. Family and hard work were the center of life. But then again, some of the stuff I read makes me very GLAD that I live today!

3. I also got into genealogy pretty hard about 3 years ago. I don't spend as much time on it now, but I love to research ancestors. Maybe because I knew 4 of my great-grandparents before they died. What a blessing! I even have a 5 generation picture taken with my children! I took one trip to visit place my ancestors live and hope to do more in the future. It's amazing the perspective that skimming census records gives you. You see this snippet of families caught in time - Mom and Dad are about the ages of my husband and I (or younger!) and they have a few (or a lot of) little kids. And then you realize that one of those kids is your great-great grandfather (or something like that)! And then you realize how fleeting this life really is. Lists and lists of people that were here, had families and lived lives just like us, and now they're gone and hardly remembered if at all...

4. I love to bargain shop for kids clothes! There's something VERY satisfying about dressing my kids in really cute clothes that were dirt cheap! I love hand-me-downs, thrift shops, yard sales, but my absolute favorite is clearance sales! I often make my husband guess how much my kids' outfits cost after I dress them. I'm sure he gets sick of guessing, but it's so much fun to tell him the real price! Unless he guesses low... that takes the fun out of it!

5. I am a big advocate of natural birth (although I appreciate the modern tools we have when used apprpriately!). Nonetheless, I have had to have my labor induced with ALL 3 of my births! The funny thing is that I have lots and lots of contractions in the months leading up to my due dates, even get to 4 cm dilation, and then can't seem to go into labor on my own! In fact, with Woogie's birth, they were just so sure that breaking my water would be all I needed, but after that was done, my contractions completely stopped! I really tried this last time with Meatball not to be induced. As a childbirth instructor, I really want to have the experience of going into labor naturally!!! I put it off and off (wih the support of my midwife), until I was not doing well health-wise. And then he weighed 10 1/2 lbs.! I just want to know what it would take for me to actually go into labor on my own!

6. I always wanted 5 kids. Scott wanted 2. I think I'm winning! LOL!

I think I'm supposed to tag people now, but I don't know how to link anything to this blog. If anyone could explain that to me, I'd be very grateful! So I'll just name a few people that I think may still read my blog. I'll name people who are also still waiting the endless wait for their kids - Shari, Ute, and Dani. I'd love to hear more about you guys!

My Spring House Project

2008-09-27T12:15:00.006-04:00

It's so hard to get good pictures of small bathrooms! You'll have to use your imagination. I should have taken before pictures - it truly is a vast improvement! I'm SO happy with it! This is the last room that hadn't been touched since we moved in 8 years ago. Unfortunately, instead of being done remodeling, it's time to start over already!

Birthday Reflections

2008-09-16T14:06:00.016-04:00

Wasn't it just yesterday that I gave birth to a baby boy and had my first sweet taste of motherhood? He was so soft and warm and beautiful - a dream come true. Other moms told me, "He'll grow up so fast! Don't blink!" So I tried to savor every precious moment and vowed to not miss a milestone. The intensity of trying to keep my eyes wide open sometimes brought me to tears, especially as I watched him grow like lightening anyway. "The endless days and the lightening fast years..." I'd try to remind myself that this was the goal - to help him grow to become a strong, independent adult who didn't need his mommy anymore. Even so, the joy was bittersweet as I realized what an incredible person he was indeed becoming. Just yesterday I held my baby boy in my arms for the first time, and today he turns 9 years old - halfway to adulthood. Wow, I'd better not blink again...

Happy Birthday, Legoboy! I love you so much! Thank you for making me a mommy!

Camping Trip

2008-09-05T09:22:00.006-04:00

I'm still sad I forgot to charge the camera battery! As you can see it was beautiful! I know a lot of other people took pictures of things we missed, so hopefully I'll get them in my e-mail box someday... We drove up to the top of a mountain and watched people hang glide off of it! I really hope we get pictures of that from our friends! Amazing! We also saw a herd of elk. My picture was too grainy and no one else outside our family saw it, so I guess we'll just have the memory. It was really cool! They ran around and played in someone's backyard like dogs! The hayrides were spectacular! The stars were so bright! We could even see the gases from the milky way which I've been told is not something you can see very many places.

This was the first time we ever went "tent camping." We really enjoyed it, even though I'm very happy to be living in a house again! The kids had a great time, and we're even thinking of doing it again someday. Although, I'm thinking maybe once a year is plenty (I like showers...)!

More Summer Memories - The Zoo in June

2008-09-03T10:16:00.010-04:00

First Day of School

2008-09-02T13:22:00.017-04:00

Here are some pictures from the first day of school. Notice how much bigger the smiles get after I step outside and onto the dead mole. It almost seems worth it in retrospect! Woogie is not in the most cooperative stage lately. I took them to get professional pictures taken a few weeks ago, and the pictures of all 3 of them together were going so badly, I suggested individual pictures instead. Well, Woogie would NOT smile. She was acting as if she had no idea how to hold her face normally now that she was in front of a camera - making her eyes too wide, making faces, frowning, scowling, etc., etc. VERY frustrating! Finally, I said "The sooner you cooperate and smile, the sooner we go to McDonald's for lunch." She instantly, tipped her head really cute and smiled a darling smile - and we had the best picture of the whole day! Even the photographer cracked up! Wish I'd thought of that sooner... Also, notice her new toothless smile!

Meatball isn't going to school quite yet, but he didn't want to be left out of the pictures! At least one of them still enjoys having their picture taken...

We had a fabulous (and exhausting!) camping trip to the mountains this past weekend. The camera battery died while we were there (I forgot to charge it before we went :-( ). But I'll have to post some pictures and more about it soon.

Cedar Point

2008-08-27T09:43:00.007-04:00

This was a way I've never experienced Cedar Point. We took about 30 girls from our church's girls' club up for the day. Scott and I were assigned the group of 3-7 year old's. Dragging little ones around a large amusement park on a hot day is quite the experience! In retrospect, I don't know if I'd take the 3 year-old's again, but we have some great memories. Too bad we didn't get better pictures!

The Birthday Party - Finally!

2008-08-26T08:24:00.009-04:00

Today was the first day of school for Legoboy and Woogie. Finally, some time to catch up! I hope to post much more of our summer adventures in the days to come. I really can't believe 2 of my kids are in school all day this year! I'm not sure what I will do... One thing high on my list is to train myself to wear shoes. One of our cats has become quite the mole hunter, and he likes to bring them to the porch and leave them on the door mat. A present, I suppose. Well, for the second time now, I stepped out the door this morning with bare feet and onto a dead mole - YUCK! My kids thought it was hysterical. I didn't. Oh well, at least they were smiling in their first day of school pictures instead of rolling their eyes - yes, they are officially in the rolling eyes phase. Where does the time go?!

Woogie's Birthday

2008-07-09T09:15:00.011-04:00

My baby girl turned 7 years-old on Monday. 7 on 7-7! It's always cracked me up that she was born 7-7-01 at 7:01 PM! I really can't believe how fast the time flies! She's growing into such a beautiful young lady! We were all at the pool Monday evening, so Scott, Legoboy, Meatball, and I all swam over to her at 7:01 and sang "Happy Birthday." We had her party on Saturday, but I haven't figured out how to download the pictures yet. It was a great party, and we went to the fireworks that night. I'm sure I'll post the pics soon! Until then, I thought I'd post an age progression - one picture for each birthday! Of course the first 2 are from her birth. I just had trouble spacing things today for some reason. Happy Birthday, Woogie! You are such a dream come true! We love you!

What We've Been Up To

2008-07-01T23:45:00.003-04:00

Swimming, swimming, and MORE swimming! It is making the time pass quickly which is good since we've had more disappointing news about our adoption. We had hoped travel would be this summer, but it is back to the indefinite future range :-( My good news for the day is that we have found homes for all of our kittens! YAY!!!!! Now, if I could just find a good home for the momma cat...

Here's some pictures of our pool adventures. Legoboy is already in the shark class and swimming in the deep end of the pool (with the swim instructor)! You can also see the haircuts I mentioned previously. The boys got their summer cuts, Meatball for the very first time! Woogie got a pretty major haircut as well. It really suits her, and it's so much easier to take care of! Oh, and we also had Woogie's first couple visits from the tooth fairy!

I needed this reminder. It was in my e-mail this morning.

2008-06-26T10:43:00.001-04:00

To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE

This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you.

I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.
I love you.

P.S. And, remember...
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you. You may have touched their life in ways you will never know!

Now, you have a nice day.
God

God has seen you struggling,
God says it's over.

Another Anniversary

2008-06-14T22:07:00.002-04:00

I can't believe one year ago today we matched with Myli. I never dreamed in million years a year would pass, and we would still be waiting. I've had to back to my book about waiting lately. This passage struck me today:

"Lewis Smedes writes,

Waiting is our destiny as creatures who cannot by themselves bring about what they hope for.
We wait in the darkness for a flame we cannot light,
We wait in fear for a happy ending we cannot write.
We wait for a not yet that feels like a not ever.
Waiting is the hardest work of hope. "

"Waiting is the hardest work of hope" - that's what this last year has been.

I received new pictures of Myli this week. She is really growing up! I usually think how little she is, and that helps it seem that she isn't growing up too much without us. But I could tell that she is a year older in these pictures. The story I was told about her was so sweet! She was given the gift of an inflatable beach ball. After someone helped her open it, she didn't want to blow it up and play with it. Instead she carefully put it back in the package to protect it.

It's amazing to me how connected I can feel to this child I've never met! I feel like over the last year I've really crossed over. Before, we were looking forward to adding this child to our family, but now its as though someone's missing. As hard as I try to just enjoy my kids and the time we have together before Myli comes, nothing feels complete without her. I hope we get her before next year...!

Anniversary, etc.

2008-06-08T16:26:00.012-04:00

It's hard to believe that today's our 12 year wedding anniversary. I guess looking at our out-of- style wedding pictures should help me believe that it's been that long! We took Scott to the airport for a business trip earlier today, and I already miss him! It's going to be a long week! The kids are keeping me busy, though. They've already been out of school for a week. It's been so much fun! We got a membership at the pool down the road so that should help pass the time. We went with the cousins on Fri. and Legoboy and I ended up some sunburn. Hopefully, they'll have cooled enough to go back tomorrow. We're going to have to reapply the sunscreen every 10 minutes! Of course for a while now, I've been picturing that Myli would be going to the pool with us by now. I so hope she gets here this summer to enjoy it with us! When we go, there's usually 4 boys and Woogie. The boys pair up by age, and Woogie has to find a buddy for the day! I can't wait until she has a sister!

We also got our bathroom up and running! There's a few little details that still need done, but for the most part, it's totally usable and beautiful! I love getting things finished! Maybe while Scott's gone, I'll get Myli's blanket done too.

Oh, and we finally got a new camera! Scott took it with him on his business trip, but I managed to get some pictures of the kittens before he left (but not the bathroom!). Aren't they cute?!

Another Good-bye

2008-05-27T20:06:00.007-04:00

It's been a stressful week. My parents went on vacation a week and half ago, and whenever they are out of town, we dog-sit. Their dog, Amber, actually used to be our dog for about 6 years. Then we started having trouble with her and our very young kids. She had arthritis in her back, and let's just say that situation mixed with toddlers didn't end well... But we always enjoyed having her come and stay for a week or so once or twice a year. She has always been a smart, fun, and loyal dog - following me around wherever I go!

Well, this visit was different. I hardly recognized her when they brought her over. She had lost weight and if it's possible, had just shrunk in every way possible! My mom said she has been getting picky with her eating, but when she got here, things got much worse. She would hardly eat anything at all, and when she did eat, it almost always came back up. She was also having accidents in the house (which is unusual), and her stool looked very unhealthy. I was driving myself crazy trying to shop for and cook and feed her anything I could think that she might eat, not to mention cleaning up after her numerous times a day, but by last Thursday, it was very apparent that something was very wrong. I had hoped it was just being away from her home and my parents and that when they returned, she would start eating more normally. But when I took her to the vet, they confirmed what I suspected. She was very sick, and it was unlikely she would recover. But still, they said some dogs will rally for a while, so I took her home bound and determined to carefully time her anti-nausea injections with feeding her small amounts every few hours. If she wouldn't eat, I'd puree her food (or give her some kind of liquid nourishment) through a syringe. She vomited a little less, and I was a little hopeful, but by the time my parents came home Sunday night, I pretty much knew we were nearing the end.

This morning my mom took her back to the vet, and found out she had lost another pound since Friday (and trust, me she couldn't afford it!). It was evident that she wasn't going to recover, so they decided to put her to sleep, and she died quietly in my mom's arms. I was sad, but a little relieved after all she had been through last week. And I was grateful we got to spend some last time with her. The kids took it harder than I thought they would. After all, she hasn't been "our" dog in a long time. I had told them to really spend some time with her to say good-bye when my parents came to pick her up, letting them know that she was very sick and this might be the last time we saw her. They did ok with that, so I was a bit surprised by the outpouring of emotion today. Watching E.T. was a good distraction, but boy has it been an emotional week! I'm going to bed early.

Good-bye old friend. We'll miss you.

Tragedy

2008-05-22T09:13:00.002-04:00

I just heard the incredibly sad news that Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman's daughter, Maria was killed last night in a horrible accident. I cannot even fathom the grief of their whole family. My heart is so broken for them. Please pray for them.

Boring Blog

2008-05-14T09:29:00.003-04:00

I have to apologize for how boring my blog has become. Not only do I not know how to link anything or create anything cool in the sidebar, but now I don't even post pictures of my crazy kids, crazy pets, or crazy weather! Why? My camera is broken! It has been for a few months now, and it is driving me crazy!!!! I can't count how many times I have said, " I wish I had a camera right now!" We've been shopping to replace it, but aren't the quickest decision makers. If anyone has a recommendation of a good digital camera on the inexpensive side (the reason ours is broken is that it was dropped one too many times...), please let me know! In the meantime, I'll tell you what I hope to post pictures of when I have a camera again:

New kittens (of which 2 may already have a home when the time comes - YAY!)

New haircuts (not telling who!)

New bathroom (hopefully it will be finished by then...)

New blanket for Myli (hopefully that will be finished as well!)

Maybe by then there will even be some new good news about our adoption - Well, I can dream, can't I?!

First Tag!

2008-05-10T23:07:00.005-04:00

I can't believe it! I've been tagged! I feel like a real blogger now! Thanks, Valerie!

What I was doing 10 years ago:

Graduating from college - in fact I think it was exactly 10 years ago on the 9th. I was so happy I actually made it through and got my nursing degree!!!!
Celebrating my second wedding anniversary a month later.
Visiting friends in Florida in Aug. of that year - the first and last time I was on a plane.
Starting my first job as a nurse.
Oh, and I got pregnant with my first baby, Legoboy, at the end of 1998 :-)
What a busy year!

5 things on my to-do list today:

Well, it's after midnight, so I can put my plans for TODAY (Tues.) and not just "go to bed" which is my plan for the rest of the night! It took me since Saturday night to get this far so that's the date that's showing up!
1. Take Lovebug to the vet to get neutered (so glad I didn't try to get him spayed!)
2. Take Woogie to the dentist for a check-up
3. Go to a baby shower at church tonight.
4. VBS planning, Sleepover Sisters planning, and preparing my Sunday School lesson
5. Do laundry, dishes, make beds, straighten, vacuum, mop, clean the kitchen, prepare meals, and take care of my kids and the pets. And if I have time - crochet more squares for Myli's blanket.

I think that about covers it.

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

I don't even know where I would start! I guess that shows you how much time I spend thinking I might ever be a billionaire :-). I would definitely tithe to our church, give money to as many worthy charities as I could find including Reece's Rainbow and the pregnancy center where I volunteer. Adopt as many kids as Scott would allow. Pay for other people to adopt children that need homes. Add on to our house to help accommodate all of our children or just buy a big farm where we could stand to have our menagerie of cats and our monster dog. Pay off our house. Let Scott do whatever job he wanted to do without worrying about salary and benefits. Go on a long road trip to see the whole U.S. with our kids. Help friends, family, and strangers. I know this isn't very creative or unique, but it's my heart!

Bad habits:

1. Reading blogs and checking my e-mail
2. Stress eating
3. Looking at photolistings of waiting children - and then telling Scott about them...
4. Staying up late at night

Places I've lived

7 different houses (or apartments) all in the same area of Ohio - Sorry, I am WAY boring!

5 jobs I've had:

1. Library Assistant
2.Nurse Tech at a hospital
3. School Nurse and Special Ed. Teaching Assistant
4. Health Dept. Nurse at a WIC Clinic
5. Now, I'm a full-time mom, Lamaze Instructor, and lactation consultant (all on a volunteer basis at the moment - of course, I don't have any hopes of ever being paid for the mom thing!)

Who would I like to tag? Well, I don't know how to link anything to my blog, so I'll just have to hope that everyone that reads this blog knows who I'm talking about!
1. Barb
2. Ute
3. Nichole
4. Melissa
5. Shari
I think Valerie already tagged Lisa.

Four Births, a Funeral, and Pictures

2008-05-10T22:43:00.002-04:00

And that was only some of what happened today... Whew!! I'm tired!

P.K. had her kittens today. It was really cool that all of the kids got to see at least one kitten born. They didn't get to see anything last time. Sadly, one kitty (the firstborn) died soon after the last was born. It was such a cutie - light gray tiger striped. We all had a good cry and buried it in a shoebox in the front yard. My kids haven't had much experience with death, so there was a lot of talk and emotions today that have left me absolutely wiped out! The other 3 kitties seem to be doing well - there's 2 white ones and a black with white diamonds on its belly. I think they'll be really cute, so hopefully we will find them all good homes - FAST!

I also got new, much anticipated pictures of Myli today! YAY!!!!!!! I just think she gets more adorable with every picture I see of her! I can't wait to see her in person! I have no idea when that may be, but I just hope that someday I won't have to just look at pictures...

My Song For Today

2008-05-05T12:09:00.002-04:00

Casting Crowns' Voice of Truth

Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giants they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

but the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
i will soar with the wings of eagles
when i stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says do not be afraid
And the voice of truth says this is for my glory
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are

OOOOPS!

2008-04-23T23:49:00.004-04:00

Well, I have an update of sorts, but it has nothing to do with our adoption! I'm sure almost everybody who reads this is probably familiar with our cat story. We were once a normal 2 cat household - one boy (neutered) and one female (spayed). Then, last summer Scott started feeding a hungry stray cat (I called her P.K. for Porch Kitty because I was bound and determined that was ALL she was going to be). When we noticed her belly growing and her incredible appetite, we realized she was pregnant. So Pregnant Kitty took up residence in our garage (after a vet visit to make sure she was free of disease and to confirm that our suspicion was correct). She gave birth to 4 cute kittens that we desperately tried to find homes for. In the end, we ended up keeping one kitten and P.K.

While we were not thrilled to now have 4 cats, and our female cat was REALLY not thrilled by our new additions, our daughter is absolutely in love with the kitten whom we call Lovebug and enjoys dressing her up in flowered collars, pink princess clothes, and hats. One item of business was getting the 2 new cats spayed, but we were told we would have to wait a good 6 months until after the mom stopped nursing to be able to do that. Wouldn't you believe I was just ready to start the process of surgery for everyone (including our female monster puppy)?!

I started noticing a few weeks ago that P.K.'s belly is getting rather large. Of course, she hasn't been out and the only boy cat in the house has been neutered for some time, so I reasoned it must be too little exercise and too much food (she's not the only one around here with that problem!). I even mentioned to Scott that she looked pregnant, but of course she COULDN'T be we agreed. Until I came home from church tonight, and Scott said, "Lovebug is a girl, isn't she?" I ran straight downstairs to look at that cat. It was very difficult given that "she" is an extremely fluffy cat, but I felt something. I asked Scott to look. He said, "No that's a girl." I said "Feel this!" We just looked at each other! Suddenly everything made sense - and not in a good way! We thought the 2 of them acted kind of funny together being mother and daughter and all, but neither one of us gave it much thought. I told Scott if he hadn't said that, very soon we would have found a pile of kittens and been totally stunned! I'd have been thinking immaculate conception or I'd have been going back to yell at that vet that neutered our male cat long ago! THIS would NEVER have occurred to me! I've even had this kitten to the vet, and no one ever corrected me when I told them she was a female. I even think I remember it being confirmed that "Yep, this one's a girl!"

I have never laughed so hard in my life! Don't get me wrong - this is not what we wanted!!!!!! Not by a long shot!!!! I just made a comment on another blog that I think I am done with new animals for a long time! But this just completely cracked me up (I laugh during really stressful situations - it's how I cope!)! This whole situation is completely ridiculous! We don't even want to tell our families, because they are going to think we are completely crazy! We aren't telling the kids either as we are very much considering making some inquiries at some cat rescue organizations tomorrow. But Woogie is upset that Lovebug is not a girl. She really wants her to be a girl. I keep telling her it's still her same cat that loves her. I don't think she's satisfied with that. I guess it will take a while to get used to this. And Legoboy just wants to know why mommy can't stop laughing...

Just To Clarify

2008-04-14T21:19:00.001-04:00

Our adoption was NOT finalized. BUT the one that had to be finalized BEFORE ours was! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-14T14:07:00.002-04:00

The adoption before ours was finalized!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

While this is an important positive step for ours and several other adoptions, I am most rejoicing for a precious little girl and a long suffering family that will soon be reunited - this time FOREVER!

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

2008-04-11T12:05:00.003-04:00

Or is it one step forward, two steps back? I'm not sure anymore, but that is our update for the week. I'm afraid it might be May before we know if Myli's paperwork is acceptable. I have to wonder if it's not, how long it will take after that to make it so! I can't believe we might actually come up to the anniversary of matching with Myli on June 14th. When we got that far, we really thought we were home free! How little did we know...

The news is in...

2008-04-04T19:55:00.002-04:00

And it isn't good. No progress has been made for us to bring Myli home. I think we're now tentatively hoping for the end of next month for Scott to travel, but this is also the 5th or 6th time frame that we have received. Needless to say, there is no breath-holding going on over here, but there were a few tears. It's been a frustrating day, but a few things have really helped. There are not words to describe how much the support from other PAP's in my agency meant to me today. There hasn't been much good news to go around, but still there is such a great beauty, strength, and humor about this group of women! It's so humbling! And I am so grateful!

Soon after getting off the phone today with the agency, I stumbled onto this song on a non-adoption related blog (hard to believe I could be interested in anything else right now, right?!). I've never heard this song before, but I hope that God intends this to be the answer to our prayers. "Through waves and clouds and storms, He gently clears the way, Wait because in His time, so shall this night, Soon end in joy, soon end in joy, Soon end in joy, soon end in joy"

Please, Lord. Let this night soon end in joy!

GOD WILL LIFT UP YOUR HEAD
traditional words by Paul Gerhardt
(trans. John Weswley, alt. by Jars of Clay)/
music by Jars of Clay

Give to the wind your fear
Hope and be undismayed
God hears your sighs and counts your tears
God will lift up, God will lift up, lift up your head

God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head
Lift up your head

Leave to His sovereign sway
To choose and to command
Then shall we wandering on His way
Know how wise and how strong
How wise and how strong

God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head
Lift up your head

Through waves and clouds and storms, He gently clears the way
Wait because in His time, so shall this night
Soon end in joy, soon end in joy
Soon end in joy, soon end in joy

God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head

© 2005 Bridge Building, a div. of Zomba Enterprises, Inc. (BMI) / Pogostick Music (BMI).

60 Things While We're Still Waiting

2008-04-01T14:04:00.005-04:00

Well, there hasn't been any more news. I'm going a little crazy, so I'm trying to keep myself busy! I saw this on a blog a while ago and thought it might be neat to do. I had to do it a little at a time, so not all of the questions were answered simultaneously. If you're looking for something to do, please cut and paste away! It's fun to get to know each other better while we're waiting!

60 Things You Possibly Didn't Know About Me

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
Well, I'm ashamed to admit that until yesterday, there were Easter baskets, gifts, etc. left in there from our family get-togethers, but I knew I was going to work on this, so I cleaned it out! Now there's just a little grass sprinkled in the back. And my breastfeeding/birth/parenting library I use for a support group I lead. And some weird looking rope/cable that I have NO idea what it's for!

2. When was the last time you threw up
It's been so long ago that I can't remember thankfully!

3. What's your favorite curse word?
I've been saying, "My heavens!" a lot recently. Does that count?

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today?
The easy answer would be Legoboy, Woogie, and Meatball, but it was also someone who e-mailed me some pictures and Myli.

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Just getting up! I slept in today!

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Getting ready to go to the grocery store, and I still haven't left! LOL!

7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now?
Finishing up homework time, making dinner, probably still doing housework since I've spent too much time on the computer today, and getting ready to go to church (at least that's my plan, but you never know!)

8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
No

9. What is the last thing you said aloud?
Just a minute. To Meatball who is jumping at me saying "Mom! Mom! Mom!"

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Do I have to pick only ONE?! Pumpkin, Mint choc. chip, and anything with chocolate and peanut butter

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Water. Rarely drink anything else.

12. What are you wearing right now?
jeans that are too tight (not intentionally!) and a brown sweater, brown slip-on shoes

13. What was the last thing you ate?
This is embarrassing! A tootsie roll - that was lunch!

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
No, and that's typical! I only shop for myself if I absolutely have to! I love shopping for my kids, though!

15. When was the last time you ran?
Last week with Woogie in the library parking lot. I'm finally getting old enough that I don't care what other people think!

16. What's the last sporting event you watched?
Wow! I'm not big into sports. Other than Woogie's gymnastics class Monday night, I'd have to say MAYBE I watched a minute or 2 of the Superbowl this year?

18. Who is the last person you emailed?
my husband

19. Ever go camping?
not since I was a kid, but the plan is to go this summer!

20. Do you have a tan?
Nope, I'm ghostly white. There's no sun around here in the winter.

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
Well, we call it pop around here, and I'd have to say usually, because when I do drink it, it's usually in a restaurant and they almost always give you a straw. If they don't , then I don't use one!

25. What did your last IM say?
I think this means instant message? I don't have anything like that. VERY low -tech :-)

26. Are you someone's best friend?
I think so... I hope so...

27. What are you doing tomorrow?
Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, making beds, cleaning the bathrooms (don't you want my life?!), walking on the treadmill, cooking meals, taking care of the kids, getting Legoboy ready to go to W.V. with Boys Club for a weekend missions trip. I think that about covers it. Oh, yeah - stressing about our adoption!

28. Where is your mom right now?
Well, the first time I worked on this, she would have been at work. She works as a medical biller/coder for a pediatrics office. But right now, she's probably at home - about 15-20 min. away from me.

29. Look to your left, what do you see?
a wall, kitchen table and chairs (with cups that still need put in the dishwasher), side of the fridge and cupboard

30. What color is your watch?
I don't wear one.

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia ?
When I was dating Scott, he considered moving there. Of course I didn't want him to. How different would our lives ended up if he had?! That and Crocodile Dundee.

32. Would you consider plastic surgery?
Doubtful, although I probably could use it!

33. What is your birthstone?
opal

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit thedrive thru?
Drive thru if I can help it. Which means if there's not a play place!

35.How many kids do you want?
As many as God wants to give me. But then again the question says how many do I want - not how many do I think I could handle!

36. Do you have a dog?
unfortunately

37. Last person you talked to on the phone?
When I was first working on this, it would have been my sister. But now it's my mom.

38. Have you met anyone famous?
Steven Curtis Chapman! Oh, and Big Chuck and Little John. And Dick Goddard. I think that's it. Does anyone know who they are?

39. Any plans today?
Right now - read my Bible, brush my teeth, and go to bed. Aren't I exciting?!

40. How many states have you lived in?
Just this one.

41. Ever go to college?
yep. I got my BSN (nursing).

42. Where are you right now?
In my kitchen at the desk.

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
The dog who eats EVERYTHING including the deck. The piles of oompah she leaves all over the yard. And the holes she digs. Meatball's destructive phase. He was using the hand vac and decided to suck up water with it today.

44. Last song listened to?
"What a Wonderful World" came up on somebody's blog today. Other than that, it would usually be Cedarmont Kids Gospel tunes!

46. Are you allergic to anything?
don't think so, although I don't get along too well with milk

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
easy slip-ons!

48. Are you jealous of anyone?
I don't think so

50. Is anyone jealous of you?
I hope no one is jealous of me.

51. What time is it?
Right now - 9:14 PM

52. Do any of your friends have children?
I think pretty much all of them do. Anyone without kids probably wouldn't put up with me for long!

53. Do you eat healthy?
Some days...

54. What do you usually do during the day?
Housework, take care of the kids, clean up LOTS of messes and lately - spend too much time on the computer!

55. Do you hate anyone right now?
No

56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
I would think so!

58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
33 - Did I actually type that?!

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
No, but I have been to Cedar Point and King's Island - Do those count?

60. How did you get one of your scars?
Being really stupid while I was cutting wax to make candles for Christmas one year. Only time I've ever had stitches (well except for my first birth...). I didn't tell anyone what made the candles red - just kidding!!!!!!!!

Our House

2008-03-31T10:29:00.013-04:00

Well, I guess we're posting house pictures :-) Here are some of the ones of the house along with the apple tree and neighborhood that I took last spring for our dossier. I've already posted a picture of Myli and Woogie's room. Some things have changed. The boys beds are bunked and the train table is in their room now. I got tired of my decor in the kitchen and took everything off the cabinets. I actually hung up some of the pictures in the family room, so now there not piled on that table, well not all of them anyway! Can't wait to see the pink trees again this spring! It can't be long...

And Then, The Sun Came Out!

2008-03-27T16:50:00.004-04:00

Well, I think spring may have finally arrived to our part of the world! It's not terribly warm, but all of the snow has finally melted. There was this one stubborn patch where I shoveled the driveway that just wouldn't melt, but it's finally gone!

And with the sun, came good adoption news! Things are looking better and better for Scott to be traveling soon to bring Myli home. It could be as soon as next month! I'm still afraid to get too excited, but my mind keeps thinking of all I need to do before he leaves. Life is busy right now with starting VBS planning and extra church responsibilities. I also have a childbirth class starting in just a few weeks. But it's good to keep my mind occupied. I was going completely crazy waiting for our update the last month! I'm also starting to do the - can't plan ahead, play everything by ear, because Scott may be traveling soon, and we might have Myli home by then - thing again which also drives me completely crazy! Oh well, at least we have a new time frame to look forward to. Could this really be it? Do I see that light getting a little brighter at the end of the tunnel?

Oh, The Weather Outside is Frightful...

2008-03-09T13:07:00.008-04:00

And since we can't go anywhere, I shoveled and took pictures! Actually, the sun came out and the wind stopped, so it's quite pretty out now! Our road still hasn't been plowed, but a neighbor drove up and down it in a truck with snow chains, so there's a little path down the middle now.

Wacky Weather!

2008-03-08T15:37:00.017-05:00

Lately, our weather more ups and downs than an international adoption! LOL! Ok, maybe not quite...

The sun came out Monday, it was close to 60 degrees! Thank goodness it melted all that snow... I really needed some sun! I've felt so much more like my normal self this week. I even got on a really good cleaning schedule! So much more energy!!!

Then we had a freezing rain storm on Tuesday. The roads must have been salted really well, because we still managed to get out to a cousin play date. But it was incredible to see everything just coated in ice! Every line in our siding had rows of icicles! All the road signs, trees, electric lines - EVERYTHING was coated in ice! And then Thusday, it all melted as I was driving Scott and his dad to the airport. Ice was crashing down all around us. We even had a few pieces hit the van which was a little nerve wracking!

And now, while Scott is in sunny Florida, we are having pretty much a blizzard. We have already had about 10-12 inches of snow, and it's supposed to keep up until 4 AM!

Here's Scott's dad's truck where he left in Thursday. I don't know if we'll be able to see it by morning!

Adoption Update

2008-02-29T10:18:00.005-05:00

Well, we are still VERY snowy around here. I think the only reason the kids keep going to school is that they ran out of snow days this week. But yet, it's another day that I can't see the road. Meatball and I were going to go to a church today to play with his cousins. They have a really neat play area that is bigger and cleaner than McDonald's. And there's no feeling of obligation to buy junk food! It's not looking likely that we will make it.... I hope it's a bit better tomorrow. The elementary school is having their yearly carnival, and the kids are really looking forward to it.

We did have some encouraging news regarding our adoption this week, and there was good news for other families adopting from Uzbek as well, so I've been feeling a bit more positive about things that last couple days. I am cautiously optimistic that Scott may be able to travel by the beginning of April. To have a timeline to look forward to once again is very good, but it also makes me again return to my list of things that have to be done by the time he leaves! It's been hard for us to prepare during the delays considering all of the uncertainty. I know I won't complain, though, no matter what I have to do!!! It's so exciting to think that there really may be a light at the end of this tunnel...

Let It Snow!

2008-02-27T09:29:00.007-05:00

Just when I thought that we have had our share of heavy snow this winter, and surely spring is around the corner...

This is when you could still SEE the road!

More Waiting and a Beautiful Analogy

2008-02-26T14:19:00.004-05:00

I'm really loving this little book that I was given the other day. It's called, "Learning to Wait," by John Ortberg. I found this section so profound in light of our situation. He writes:

"Henri Nouwen gave us a picture of patient trust not long before he died in 1996. Writing about some trapeze artists who became good friends of his, he explained that there is a very special relationship between the flyer and the catcher....

As the flyer is swinging high above the crowd, the moment comes when he lets go of the trapeze, when he arcs out into the air. For that moment, which must feel like an eternity, the flyer is suspended in nothingness. It is too late to reach back for the trapeze. There is no going back now. However, it is too soon to be grasped by the one who will catch him. He cannot accelerate the catch. In that moment, his job is to be as still and motionless as he can.

'The flyer must never try to catch the catcher,' the trapeze artist told Nouwen. 'He must wait in absolute trust. The catcher will catch him. But he must wait, His job is not to flail about in anxiety. In fact, if he does, it could kill him. His job is to be still. To wait. And to wait is the hardest work of all.'

You may be in that vulnerable moment right now - you have let go of what God has called you to let go of, but you can't feel God's other hand catching you yet. Will you wait in absolute trust? Will you be patient? Waiting requires patient trust."

What an incredible picture of how we're feeling right now! We've trusted God and let go of the trapeze, and we can trust Him the catch us as well. Will we wait in patient trust? I hope this encourages others who are waiting also.

Waiting

2008-02-24T22:15:00.003-05:00

We have had a couple "down" weeks - injury, illness, and really bad weather have been keeping us really cooped up! Cabin fever is starting to hit big time! I hope it warms up a bit now that we are all feeling better, and we can get out of the house!

Today, someone at church gave me a little book to read about waiting. She knows the struggles we've had lately with the delays in our adoption. There was one part that I found particularly funny, and humor is a MUST right now! It said that an economist once asked God, "Is it true that a minute is like a thousand years to you?" God replied, "Yes." The economist went on, "Then, a penny must be like a million dollars to you." And God replied, "Yes." "Well, then," the economist continued, "can I have one of those pennies?" "Yes," answered God, "Wait here a minute." LOL! Isn't that funny?!

On Friday, it became apparent that we are really looking at waiting at least until April for Scott to travel. It's hard to even believe that as I look back at what our previous expectations had been. And truly, if it was just waiting on something for me, it would be one thing, what gets me is that Myli has to wait, and it's hard to even imagine what purpose is being served for her to wait even one more day for a family. But still, I know that in the grand scheme of things there must be some purpose - that God is still on His throne and in control. This is the song that keeps running through my head today:

Steven Curtis Chapman/Margaret Becker
Isaiah 40:27-31

You wonder when
The Lord will renew the strength within you
You wonder how
How can He use you as you are
Seems like you're wasting precious time
But then a voice comes to remind you (to wait)

Chorus
Wait, wait, wait on the Lord
You will understand in time
Why you must wait
Wait, wait, wait on the Lord
Yes He hears you
But for now you must wait on the Lord

Answers come slowly to your cries of desperation
But time is His tool
Teaching the greatest lessons learned
So let Him do His work in you
And watch the miracles come true as you (wait)

Chorus

They that wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength
They will rise up with wings as eagles
They will run, not get weary
They will walk and not faint
That's a promise to us when we (wait)

Repeat Chorus

Motherhood is Educational

2008-02-20T17:26:00.003-05:00

I've learned many things since I became a mother. I want to share a few things I learned in a very short time yesterday (10 minutes tops!).

1. I've always heard that peanut butter gets gum out of hair. This is not true! It doesn't even get it off of skin!

2. Spelling homework and bathwater don't mix.

3. Apparently, putting the 3 year-old responsible for #2 in the corner by a door for a time out is a bad idea since he can disassemble hinges with alarming speed(Oh, that was new too, I didn't know that before!).

Happy Birthday, Myli!

2008-02-19T11:50:00.002-05:00

My little girl that I have yet to meet is 7 today! I have to admit it's another bittersweet day. Even way back when we were expecting her to be home by Thanksgiving, I always had this date in the back of my mind. For sure, she would be home for her birthday...

It's hard to think about her growing up all this time without us. It's hard to wonder how much longer it will be... I think I've been building a bit of an emotional wall around myself this last month, since we were told that things were not going well. So much so that I actually got some good news last Friday and haven't felt as excited as I should be. We were told that the last of the necessary documents could be finished this week. And it's not just good news because of the papers might be finished, but even that they are ABLE to be finished! There is still a major hurdle even after the papers are ready, so I don't know if that's why I still feel so guarded, or if it's just because we're so numb from the emotional ups and downs. Well, so much for a "happy" birthday post! To end on a positive, though, I'm going to share the first of a series of letters I've been writing in a journal for Myli. Re-reading them helps me bring back some of the earlier joy I felt before we encountered so many stumbling blocks.

October 31, 2007

Dear Myli,

I sat staring at your pictures tonight thinking about the fact that very soon you will be my daughter for the rest of your life, and I've never even met you yet! It's so hard for me to understand, I can only imagine how hard it may be for you, but I'm going to do my best to show you how much we already love you and know that you are meant to be part of our family. It overwhelms me to think that God has a plan to knit our lives together from opposite sides of the world.

Seven years ago today, I found out that I was pregnant. Now I know that your birthmother was carrying you at the very same time. In fact, 5 days before you were born, I found out that I was carrying a baby girl - your sister, Woogie. I was thinking about this one night soon after I found out that you would be our daughter, and I suddenly realized that less than 2 years before you were born (just after Legoboy was born), I had a vivid dream that I had twin girls. It was so real that I remember telling people about it, almost believing the next time I was pregnant, I would be having TWO baby girls. I was startled to realize that after 6 years, I am finally getting my two little girls I saw playing together in my dream!

You are so beautiful! I feel like I must still be dreaming because in just 3 short weeks, I should be holding you in my arms! I'm so excited, but so nervous! I don't know what you'll think of us! We're not sure how well we'll be able to communicate at first, but we are trusting God. He has been with us every step of the way - guiding, encouraging, and providing for us. We know we can continue to trust and depend on Him!

Outside It Was!

2008-02-13T14:08:00.007-05:00

Snow Days

2008-02-13T10:53:00.002-05:00

This is my kids' 3rd snow day in a row. They have yet to go to school this week! It's been so cold that I haven't wanted to send them outside either. The roads are so bad, we can't go anywhere. We are really cooped up! Yesterday, we did a few fun things even though I pulled a muscle in my hip and couldn't do much physically. We started reading "Little House on the Prairie" (we finished "Little House in the Big Woods" a while ago), and we (well, mostly I!) made candy for Scott for Valentine's Day. I thought today we would really have to do some fun things. Vegging time is over, and we desperately need to do something about this cabin fever! But then I woke up with the back of my throat so swollen, I can hardly talk, and I feel like I'm choking! This happened once before to Scott, so I wasn't too alarmed knowing that it would go away soon. I'm thinking it may be from a virus since Legoboy was sick Sunday-Monday with a fever and sore throat (and just one incident of up-chuck!). It is just not good to not be able to do much with 3 stir-crazy kids (and 1 stir crazy mom!)! I'm thinking I'm either going to have to let them go out today for a short time or let them bring a little snow in on the table... We'll see...

All Things Russian

2008-02-11T16:25:00.000-05:00

I don't know if I've ever mentioned the fact that Myli is Russian. She speaks Russian, and I believe her birth mother was born in Russia. So not only have we tried to learn about Uzbekistan, but we've also tried to learn about Russian culture. I've enjoyed learning a little Russian, and thanks to some material I found online, I feel like I am becoming more prepared to converse with Myli a bit. This is where we found the most helpful language guide! http://worknotes.com/AZ/AdoptingFromRussia/Kelleher/h0.stm
I was getting tired of hunting through Russian language materials to find anything that might be helpful to learn. I really don't have time to learn how to order from a restaurant or ask for directions. I also wasn't very interested in learning a whole new alphabet. This is great because it's all phonetic and is specific to the things you would want to learn to say to your new child. There are also other languages offered besides Russian. The lady that developed this was so nice to me. She had never overnighted the material before, but I was just desperate to get it before Scott was supposed to leave. She really went out of her way to work with me and encourage me in all of this. I think of her often, and how she said that when she adopted her son, it was a pilot program and it took 3 years. She said she hoped it had not taken us that long, and at the time, I reassured her that it had not taken us nearly that long. Now, unfortunately, I'm starting to see how such things happen!

Woogie and I went to a great Russian festival back in October at a local Russian Orthodox church. We didn't really go prepared to eat, but we did sample the Russian donuts - YUM! This year, we will definitely have to take the whole family and have dinner. Everything looked and smelled DELICIOUS! I didn't realize how much the traditional foods in my own family are very similar to Russian foods, but I guess it makes sense since we have a lot of Eastern European (Hungarian and German) in us. One of the highlights of the evening was Russian dancing. Woogie and I really enjoyed it!

Well, now I have a new addiction while I'm waiting for things to move on our adoption. It's kind of fitting because it's Russian Solitaire. It's very hard to win (I've only won 2 games out of a lot of attempts), but I can't stop playing nonetheless! Here's the link in case anyone is bored or wants to torture themselves!

http://justsolitaire.com/game.php?game=RussianSolitaire

Another Anniversary

2008-02-08T09:58:00.000-05:00

Today is the day we had our social worker visit for our homestudy last year. Can it really be a year ago?! I wonder how many more milestones we'll experience this year before Myli is home. So now I guess I feel like I've been pregnant for 13 months - glad I don't have any pictures to go along with that idea!

No News is Good News?

2008-02-06T15:07:00.000-05:00

I hope this is true, but somehow I'm not convinced it applies in this case! I have heard a little bit of an update - just that one more thing (I'm not sure what it is) is being worked on this week (in an attempt to finalize the paperwork needed to have the mayor sign our adoption), and if it doesn't work after this week, new avenues may be explored. I guess I could get a call any minute saying that all has been worked out, and Scott can travel to finalize our adoption, but somehow I'm starting to think that we're in this for the long haul. Maybe that's the best way to think, anyway, and then I will be pleasantly surprised if this is finished sooner rather than later. It has been rough the last couple weeks. I think mainly because most of the time up to this point, we have had some time frame we were shooting for. Now, we really don't have any idea when Scott will travel. I booked him some tickets to go with his dad to Florida for a weekend next month, so I guess we're trying to move on with our lives in some ways. Maybe Murphy's Law will kick in, and that's the weekend he'll be allowed to go to Uzbekistan! I wouldn't mind having to change the tickets at all! I think it's hard also because Myli's birthday is coming up very soon, and I always had that in mind as the latest possible time of her arrival. I never really believed the earlier time frames I was given, deep down I really felt it would take longer, but I never had any doubt that she would be here in time for us to celebrate her 7th birthday - what a joyous celebration that would have been! I always picture her and Woogie in coordinating Easter dresses and hats, and now I'm fairly certain that won't happen this year either. Hopefully, next year it will be different...

Like I said, it's been hard to balance the way our adoption has taken over our lives and the limbo we have been in for the last 4 months with continuing on with our lives. Today had some "back to reality" moments. I took Meatball for his 3 year well visit to the pediatrician, and was again reminded that we have a "big boy!" He weighed 41 lbs. (the exact same as Woogie - 3 1/2 years older!), and was 41" in height! The doctor volunteered that he thinks Meatball will be a whopping 6'2"-6'4" when he gets done growing! No wonder that kid is eating us out of house and home! Hard to imagine that not to long from now, he will tower over all of us!

We also had some good news about his ears. He had a second surgery in Oct. where they placed one tube because the other eardrum had a hole in it where a previous tube had fallen out. The hole was acting as a tube, so the doctor didn't feel the need to place a new tube in that ear. A couple months ago, he had some drainage and when I took him to the ear doctor, he said that the hole was gone! I was concerned that now he didn't have a way for one of his fluid prone ears to drain. I was also a bit concerned that he didn't seem to be hearing quite as well as he did after the surgery. But today the pediatrician saw the hole and it was confirmed by a test in audiology. He also had a hearing test that showed just some mild conductive hearing loss (due to the tube and hole in his eardrums), but no permanent damage! Praise God! This has always been of particular concern to us, because both Scott and Scott's mother have permanent and rather extensive hearing loss due to the same type of problems that Meatball has had. They still as adults have continued to have major ear surgeries and struggle to maximize their hearing with hearing aids. It is such a relief to know that Meatball will probably not go through these same problems with his ears! It's days like today hearing the good news about my child's health (and his phenomenal growth!) and watching him charm all of the doctors and nurses with his humor and personality that remind me once again how incredibly blessed we are!

Here are some pictures from the last couple weeks. Does this look like a comfortable way to nap?!

This cracked me up! One night , Meatball got up after he had been in bed for an hour or so, picked up Lovebug, lay down on the couch, and they both immediately zonked out! I carried them back to bed that way, and when I checked on him a little while later, she was still in his arms asleep! This cat is really something!Another one of Lovebug's fashion looks! My mom saw this picture and asked me who I thought Legoboy looked like in this picture. I replied that, of course, he looks like Myli! And she said that's what she was thinking! It's the first time she's agreed that there is a significant resemblance. How she hasn't seen it before, I don't know! I can't wait until I can compare them in person...

Blast From The Past

2008-02-01T19:59:00.001-05:00

My husband e-mailed me this picture from my senior prom yesterday. I was rather puzzled since I don't remember ever having seen this picture before. It turns out that he ran into an old friend from high school (we didn't go to the same H.S. and he had been out of school for a couple years at this point) who happened to be dating someone from my high school and happened to be at the prom with us. I guess he must have dug this out and scanned it for him. What a neat surprise! Then, this morning I woke up to find it as my screen background. What a romantic guy my husband can be! Maybe it will help me stay on my diet since I will see it in the kitchen every day...

On an adoption note, I'm feeling a little more positive about things. I still don't know how and when all of this will work out, but I really have faith that someday Myli will be ours.

P.S.

2008-01-24T13:18:00.001-05:00

I just realized I left an important tidbit out of the post below. Somewhere along the way, I've heard to pay attention to the details during the adoption process - the little warm fuzzies along the way. So, yesterday I was thinking about a dear friend of mine who is out of town. Their whole family went to Disney! YAY! I began to pray for her and her family and their trip when I remembered the last conversation I had with her before they left. She told me about a Focus on the Family broadcast she had heard about adoption the past week. She said it reminded her so much of us, and she thought it would be an encouragement to me to listen to it. I filed it away in my brain to listen to when I had time, but completely forgot about it until that moment. I went over to the computer and actually found the broadcast. I started listening to it, and was she ever right! It was such an encouragement! It was almost over when the phone rang, and I knew it was going to be our adoption agency- and it was. I feel like God was preparing me for some bad news. He knew my need for encouragement before I even needed it. And come to think of it, I still haven't listened to the last 2 minutes of that broadcast!

Another Setback

2008-01-24T12:07:00.000-05:00

The news finally came, but it was not the good news I had hoped to hear. Not only was the last document not finished, but it seems there may be a problem with completing it. But history has shown me that even when things seem the most impossible, there's still hope. I'm just really expecting another miracle with this. It also helps to have the assurance that our coordinator will not give up. I really believe this will all work out, but I have to wonder when?!

It wasn't all bad news, though. We also found out that the documents have all been received for the adoption that has to take place before ours. Hopefully, there won't be any more delays, the mayor will finalize the adoption quickly, and a precious little girl will get to go home to her new family very soon!

I also found out more about Myli's birth family. The details are so important to me as I know how important they will be to her. My heart goes out to her birth mother. I'm not sure if it is possible, but I am thinking about asking if I could send a gift for her when Scott travels. I'm sure it can't be anything valuable (nor would I want it to be), so I'm thinking about something more sentimental. Any ideas??

Here is a bracelet I found for our coordinator at an antique mall when Scott and I went away for the night. Isn't it pretty? The pictures don't really do it justice. The rhinestones are blue or purple depending on how the light hits them. I hope she likes it! I kind of wish I had bought one or two pieces for myself. I'm not really big into jewelry, but some of these were beautiful!

Cats and Dogs and Kids - Oh, My!

2008-01-22T09:20:00.000-05:00

I was truly hoping to hear some good news about our adoption this weekend, but it was not to be. Sadly, the progress we have been expecting has not happened yet. In the meantime, we had a busy weekend to keep us occupied.

On Friday, Woogie had show and tell. This is the second time I have brought a cat into school at her insistence (aka begging!). This year, Lovebug was the lucky cat. She is one of the kittens we acquired last summer. Scott had started feeding a stray cat that looked remarkably like our cat, Moses. I tried to dissuade him, reminding him that we already had 2 cats and really couldn't have anymore, but nonetheless, she showed up at least daily in the beginning looking for food. We started calling her P.K. for porch kitty because I was determined that's all she would become! Soon we realized that this cat had a voracious appetite, returning more times a day to be fed. Then we noticed her belly growing a bit, and then that her nipples were pink and prominent - Oh shoot! P.K. also stood for Pregnant Kitty! So we took her to the vet, moved her into the garage, and waited for the coming kittens. I was worried about how we were going to find homes for them, but at the same time, I was a little excited for the kids to experience the birth and early weeks of kittens. It was a neat experience, but it took us a lot longer to find homes for them than I hoped for, and then we ended up stuck with one kitten and the mom. That kitten actually went home with someone and came back a couple days later because she wouldn't stop crying! I was shocked since we had not had a single problem with that cat - she was so laid back and easy going - we affectionately called her Lovebug (all the kittens had generic-let's-not-get-attached names). I guess in the end, I'm glad we had one left. The kids had a difficult time seeing their favorites leave. It was hard for mom and dad too! Woogie still gets emotional about her favorite, Speedy.

This is where Lovebug sleeps, on Woogie's pillow - willingly!

Here are some pictures of the kittens with their mom.

So anyway, I went to show and tell with Meatball and a cat carrier that was awkward enough to carry, but then I realized the pin that held it shut was missing! The actual show and tell went pretty well, so then I gathered up Meatball, Woogie, and Legoboy, and and all of their school stuff and we went to check out in the office. I decided to ask the secretary about enrolling Myli if she's not a U.S. citizen when she first starts school. So I'm holding a broken cat carrier with a less than happy cat inside against my leg at an angle to keep her inside, trying to keep Meatball out of the pencils and volunteer buttons, and the older 2 are looking at me with that "come on Mom, these backpacks are getting really heavy" look. After I finished talking to the secretary, we had to make a train to keep safe in the incredibly busy after school parking lot and negotiated all of us to the van. I can only imagine the conversation that went on in the office about the crazy lady who was going to add another child to that spectacle!

Woogie had Sleep Over Sisters at church that night and Legoboy had a birthday party. It was funny when I picked Woogie up the next morning, I pulled into he parking lot and there was a little girl walking toward our van. Meatball called from the backseat, "Don't hit that girl, Mom!" "Ok, Sweetie!" I replied as we made our way around her (good thing he's around! LOL!). After we had gone past her, Meatball said very sincerely, "GOOD JOB, MOM!!" as if I had accomplished something quite spectacular!

On Sunday after church we went bowling. I told Scott we have to get a digital video camera so I can post Woogie bowling on here! Her approach is absolutely hysterical! She runs up with the ball, stops and throws it. My description doesn't do it justice! I just laughed the whole time!

Yesterday, the kids were off school for MLK day. In the morning before Legoboy left to go to Laser Quest with a friend, they were all sitting on the couch watching TV. They inevitably got into the classic argument - He/She Took My Spot! I, of course, responded with the I-don't see-your-name-engraved-on-that-spot line my mom always used. A little later, Meatball was complaining (whining, actually) that someone took his blanket that had his name "enraved on it!" My kids crack me up! But yet, I was a little glad school was back in session today!

I've neglected to mention the middle part of the title - the dog. She is still constantly into things. In fact while I'm writing this, she got a hold of a half dozen waffles I was waiting to cool so I could freeze them. They're gone now. Last week when I went to the neighborhood tea, I made 2 pepperoni and olive loaves. I put one in the oven, but the other wouldn't fit at the same time. Silly me left the other on a cookie sheet on top of the oven while I went downstairs to throw in a load of laundry. When I came back up, I was confused for a minute. Did I put that other loaf in the oven after all? Did I put it in the fridge? No! All that was left was a little bit of cheese sprinkled on the cookie sheet!!! But she and Meatball are fast friends so I guess we'll continue to put up with her. As you see she has grown quite a bit since we got a cute little puppy just a little over 4 months ago! Scott calls her Puppy-osaurus! (Notice Meatball's spaghetti face! No wonder Jada likes him!)

For Myli

2008-01-19T22:44:00.000-05:00

I found this poem on another adoption blog. I think I've read it somewhere before, and I'm so glad I ran into it again!

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that’s how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are…what’s taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin…
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I’m doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you’ll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

-------- Author Unknown

Still Nothing

2008-01-16T08:52:00.000-05:00

I still have no real update and no travel date. But somehow I have a peace and calm about it - truly peace that passes understanding!

This week has been good, though. Scott and I had a wonderful night away. It was very much needed! I just wish it could have been a little longer! When I mentioned to him that it had been over 3 years since we had been there at our favorite getaway, he was surprised it had been so long. We really need to try to do this more often! On Saturday, we went browsing around to some of the shops and stopped at an antique mall. I found a beautiful bracelet to give to our coordinator. The funniest thing happened - we were wandering around looking for that antique mall, so we walked down past a strip of shops (where one wouldn't typically walk!) to see if we could figure out where it was. We didn't see it, so we turned around and right in front of me was the door to the Golden Rule travel agency - the first travel agency I had contacted about our trip! I knew they were located somewhere down there, but I couldn't have found that hole in the wall if I had been trying! Although they were extremely nice and helpful, we didn't end up using them, but I still felt somehow encouraged to see that sign.

Our builder called this week and had some good news. It appears that we would be able to do an addition on our house after all! He's coming back to day to double check some measurements, but it really sounds like it may become an option! Monday evening, I went our our neighborhood ladies' tea and was again reminded that I don't want to move. What an incredible group of women that are my neighbors! We had a great time!

Yesterday, I started teaching a series of childbirth classes at the pregnancy center where I volunteer. We had a great group, and I left in awe of the people that God allows me to cross paths with! Then I came home and felt the same way when I was in contact with some PAP's I've encountered along this path of adoption. It's hard to justify complaining about the waiting when I feel so incredibly blessed! God has shown me beyond a shadow of a doubt that He is in control and it is a great comfort.

Still Waiting

2008-01-10T17:34:00.000-05:00

Well, no travel date yet. We were really hoping to hear something this week. Basically another adoption has to be finalized before ours, and we were hoping that would happen this week. There may be some movement on both our adoption and the other adoption soon, so we at least have some positive things to hope for! I really feel God is teaching me patience and flexibility in all of this. We really do have a peace about all of this and know that God is in control.

We met with a builder today to discuss the possibility of adding onto our house. It's getting a bit crowded around here (our house is less than 1200 sq. feet, but a finished basement with a big playroom has saved us so far!), but I can't imagine moving out of our neighborhood. We live on a really quiet dead-end road. It's such a perfect place for kids. They can ride their bikes and scooters, visit the cows and goats on the farm at the end of the road, go for walks in the woods, and fish at the pond at the other end of the road. Sometimes, if we miss church for some reason, we get to watch the Amish horses and buggy's making their way to church from our back patio door. I also love our schools and was pleased to find out they have an English as a Second Language (ESL) teacher in the district and an ESL class at one of the elementary schools. I think the students are mainly Ukrainian which could be really nice for Myli to be able to be around other kids that speak Russian if we decide to send her to school. So anyway, it would be really nice to not have to move. We really haven't found much on the market that suits our needs in this school district. The builder seemed like a great guy and very knowledgeable, but it sounds like there may be some obstacles to us adding onto our house. We'll have to wait and see what he finds out.

We're planning to go away overnight tomorrow night without kids for the first time in a very long time. I am so excited! I was surprised they had an opening at our favorite cottage in Amish country this weekend, so we decided to take advantage of the delays and have one last get-away together. It's kind of been a tradition of ours to try to get away before each new baby, knowing it will be a while until we can do it again, and we had been hoping to do it this time as well. Of course Legoboy came home from school with a fever yesterday, and we were afraid that our plans might have to be canceled (we have a lot of experience at being flexible with our plans!). Fortunately, he seems completely recovered (which is also good because it was non-refundable!), and I have a last minute grocery store trip to make and packing to do! I am really looking forward to this time alone with Scott and for the distraction. This place is really great - one large room with a vaulted cedar ceiling, a beautiful gas fireplace, complimentary cookies and non-alcoholic champagne, the most comfy bed and softest towels ever! They even bring a wonderful hot breakfast to your door in the morning in a basket! It just doesn't get any better!

I Feel Like I've Been Pregnant for a Year

2008-01-08T17:04:00.000-05:00

This is how I feel today - ready to explode! One year ago today, we decided to start this adoption process. I remember how caught off guard I was to feel the same feeling I felt when I saw that first positive pregnancy test I had been wanting to see for so long - the perfect mixture of absolute joy and terror!

All along the way I've been struck by the similarities of the processes of pregnancy and adoption. Occasionally I get overwhelmed thinking about how I will care for another child. Or I start thinking about how this will affect our other children or about how it will change the dynamics of our family. All the same concerns I had each time I was pregnant! And now I don't know why I'm surprised that we're still waiting for our little girl, I went overdue with all of my kids! And it's so similar. After I would go past my due dates, Scott used to say he didn't believe there was really a baby - it must be a tumor. Some days I feel like that. Is this really going to happen? Are we really going to get a new daughter out of all of this? I'm as emotionally tired as I was physically tired in this picture (and this was Woogie - 2 lbs. smaller than Meatball!). I'm so ready to get this over with, meet my little girl, and hold her in my arms! I'm so ready to love and care for her and experience what it is like to have four children. I'm so past ready!

On the bright side, I had a little distraction today. Our dryer has been broken for a week, and we haven't been able to get someone here to fix it. I'm used to doing 2 loads of laundry every day, so you can only imagine how it was starting to pile up! Well, it got fixed today! I wanted to kiss the repairman (hey - same feeling I had for the guy who gave me an epidural during my first birth!).

Getting Ready For Myli

2008-01-07T12:20:00.000-05:00

I've enjoyed preparing for Myli's arrival, even thought sometimes it's been hard to figure out exactly what she needs. Last October, we went crazy trying to prepare for her arrival. There was so much to do! We needed to find bunk beds and mattresses, bedding, and clothes. At least we had a head start already having a girl. We had a pink room and clothes we thought they could share. I think that was part of the reason I was kind of lax getting ready for her. But then when we thought she was coming we realized we needed to kick it into high gear! And now it all waits for her...

Here's the room Woogie and Myli will share. A friend gave me an extra set of girl's bedding. Isn't it perfect?! I wonder who will want to sleep on the top bunk?

I LOVED shopping for Myli's clothes! It was one of those things that helps make this seem real. I also just love the idea of dressing her in clothes that will hopefully make her feel like the princess she already is to us! Meatball went with me on some of the shopping and told various strangers in the store, "We're 'dopting Myli." He also came in handy for shoe shopping. It seems he and Myli wear the same size. I just hope no one saw me trying girl's shoes on him! I decided that since it will be Scott taking care of her by himself for a couple weeks over there that I needed a wardrobe strategy. I wanted to pick a color palate and items that could all be mixed and matched - foolproof!. Of course, I'm also a bargain shopper, so it was kind of a tall order, but I was pretty pleased with the results! I went back later and got clothes in smaller sizes after an eye-witness told me how small she was. Now I'm hoping all of this fits her by the time we actually get her! Hopefully, it will still be the right season for all the warm stuff as well!

This seems a little silly today. It's 62 degrees! Pretty warm for this area in January, but spring will be here before we know it! I had to get Woogie matching hat, gloves, and scarf set. I hope Myli likes pink!
I usually hit all the clearance sales at the end of the seasons, so last summer, I found lots of coordinating girls' summer clothes. I especially loved these dresses! Can't you just see our two girls in these! Hope they fit!

Shaohannah's Hope

2008-01-02T08:49:00.000-05:00

I've been holding off on telling the story about one of the most amazing days in our adoption journey in hope that I would suddenly become tech savvy and be able to post some links, videos, etc. ! But since it's not happening, I guess I'll just have to tell the story and try to add stuff later.

First a little background. I've always followed Steven Curtis Chapman's (SCC for short because I don't want to keep writing his name!) music and career. As a pre-teen, I had attended an incredible youth convention where a then hardly known young singer and song writer performed his music and shared with us about his life. I vaguely remember meeting him and speaking to him with a dear friend of mine who is still my friend to this day. Our youth group only had 4 members in attendance, but we won a stereo and cassette tapes in a raffle. That was how I got my first SCC tape. Over the years as his career became enormously successful, and I felt just a bit of a connection to it, kind of like I knew him back when!

I remember one of the times when I was trying to find a way to talk myself out of adoption. Maybe it wasn't what God was calling us to do, maybe it was all in my mind. Maybe when the kids were older, we could think about it. And just when I had talked myself into a little peace with all of that in my head, I turned the radio on in the car to hear SCC's voice talking about adoption and how he heard God's call and struggled against it. It was like God was telling me not to give up hope just yet - it was going to happen. So when Scott finally was ready to pursue an adoption, of course I thought about SCC's grant organization called Shaohannah's Hope (after his first daughter from China). I looked at the website and thought I saw (although I know it must not have said this now) that we had to go through specific adoption agencies to qualify. Oh well, so much for that, I thought! So I started selling Mary Kay products trying to help raise the money we needed for the adoption.

One day in March, I was at my daughter's gymnastics class, sitting with a mom I hadn't seen for a while. She asked why we weren't doing Saturday's anymore (I believe this was a make-up class for her daughter, we had met when our daughter's were in the Sat. class together). I told her that I was doing Mary Kay classes on Saturdays to help raise money for our international adoption. Her jaw about hit the floor! She and her husband were trying to internationally adopt a little girl with Down Syndrome! We talked like crazy throughout the class (sorry, Woogie, I missed all the cartwheels!), and we exchanged e-mails. As we left, I told her that very morning I had been to a mother's prayer meeting at church (the only one I went to, I'm sorry to say!), and another mother had prayed specifically for me that I would find someone going through the adoption process that would be able to support and encourage me! It was a prayer I didn't even think to pray, and now I realize the wisdom of that prayer. Not only did I find this woman, but also lots of online support that has just been invaluable!

OK, back to the story. I had tried to e-mail the lady from gymnastics after we talked, but never heard back from her until out of the blue in late July or Aug. She mentioned that they were applying for a grant from Shaohannah's Hope and had I considered this. I e-mailed her back, telling her that we didn't qualify, but also thinking I should go back to that website again. When I did, I found no restriction on agencies! I've since been told there never was one. I really believe God had allowed me to believe that until just the right time. I quickly got our application together and sent in all the necessary paperwork. I had no idea how much the grants were and really wasn't counting on qualifying. Very soon after we applied, I received a phone call from Shaohannah's Hope asking us if we could go to SCC's concert that was coming up in the area. They wanted us to share a bit about our adoption as they were trying to bring attention to the need for adoption at the concert. I'm not really big on getting up in front of large crowds, but I nervously agreed as I felt that this was an opportunity for us to help more children find homes. My husband was really excited (which is good, because I agreed before I asked him!)! It was funny, because when I had sent our application letter to my friend (the same one that went to the youth convention with me) for proof-reading and a second opinion, she had told me about the upcoming concert, and we had already purchased tickets and planned to attend.

It was a couple weeks after that phone call, we got the devastating call about the law changes and the need for multiple trips. That month was so hard! We didn't know what we were doing, and now we were going to talk about our adoption in front of a whole concert audience! I was really hoping at this point that there would be multiple families from the area, not just us on that stage! We were far less positive about our adoption experience than at the time of agreeing to speak at the concert!

We were nervous and excited about the concert. At least, by the time of the concert we had Scott's first trip scheduled and were feeling a bit more positive about things, but we were still trying to figure out what God was doing in all of this. Having never intended to travel, we had a myriad of fears and concerns - would Scott be able to take the time off work he needed, how would we pay for 2 trips, how would Scott be a single parent to a child he couldn't communicate with for 2 weeks in a foreign country, would we be able to figure international travel out or would I accidentally book his flights wrong and have him stuck in Australia somewhere?! I think Scott even asked me if we might be getting a grant that night. I told him that I had been told it would take several months for them to make a decision, and I didn't even know if we would know if we were getting a grant before the adoption was finalized. I didn't even remember to take the camera.

Mercifully, just before intermission we got a little hint of what was to come or else I think I would have passed out on stage! SCC came out and talked about Show Hope and Change for Orphans. They were collecting change at every concert to give to a local family that was adopting. They were here tonight. Scott and I just looked at each other. Us? Couldn't be! SCC even went on to say that said maybe there would be a lot of families, I guess trying to continue the surprise. That must be it, I thought, we didn't qualify for a grant, so they're going to bring up a bunch of local families and split up what they collected tonight. How nice! So now we were really nervous! We waited until the song came on that they told us to walk out and meet up with the person who would take us up on stage. It was funny that the song was, "Live Out Loud," because that's the song that Woogie calls the "Coffee Can Song." That morning at church, she went up to everyone she saw, and said "My mom and dad are going to see the man that sings the Coffee Can song." We, of course, got a lot of blank looks! That song was the 2nd to last song, and when we got up, a lot of other people did too. Oh, there were many families here, not just us! But then they started going toward the bathroom and the exits until it was just us walking toward the meeting spot! Now I was REALLY nervous!!

Please understand that the rest of this is pretty much a blur! We went out on stage after the last song was over. I found out later that my friend was very close to the stage and was able to share the whole experience with us. SCC introduced us and asked Scott a few questions about where we were adopting from, how old our daughter was, and when his trip was scheduled for. Thank goodness I didn't have to speak! Then, he gave us a $4000 grant! I cried of course! That was wonderful, but the best part was when SCC led the entire audience in prayer for our adoption, praying for Myli by name! It was such an awesome moment! We just felt like God came down and showed us His love and care. Like He wanted to reassure us in a big way that this was His plan, that He was still in control, and that He would continue to provide for us and lead us. I cannot explain what that did for us at that moment and continues to do for us as we continue on this journey.

We walked off the stage with SCC and talked with him and his wife for a few minutes, and show them some pictures of Myli. It was so nice to talk with them, knowing that they have been through this 3 times! They were so encouraging! I was able to share what a blessing that grant was to us, the current struggles we had been having, and how much this experience meant to us at that very moment. I was able to share how much of an inspiration they have been to us through their example of faith and through his music.

So even though, I don't know how to post links and stuff, please visit Shaohannahshope.org. They have a great video called "Treasure," I believe. SCC's daughter is so very cute! I also highly recommend all of his music including his beautiful songs about adoption. He also has a new song out that isn't about adoption, but was inspired by his daughters. It's called "Cinderella," and there wasn't a dry eye in the audience that night when he sang it!

Christmas

2007-12-29T11:15:00.000-05:00

This year's Christmas was almost as much of an emotional roller coaster as the last year has been! We had wonderful times of visiting with our large extended families and our church family. It was so nice to hear lots of encouraging words about our adoption and to have people talk about Myli as if she will be here soon. My aunt from out of state probably didn't realize how much it meant to me (unless she saw the tears in my eyes) when she handed me a wrapped gift bearing Myli's name - "For when she comes home." On one hand, it was a nice distraction with all the busyness and fun, but I was a little caught off guard at how bittersweet it was to wrap the kids' presents while having to put Myli's back up in the attic. Then on Christmas morning, I couldn't shake the image I had in my mind of all 4 of my children opening gifts together. I truly felt like someone was missing. But it helped that the children were thrilled with their gifts even though we tried to keep it pretty simple this year.

Before Christmas, the kids had a lot of activities. We had a beautiful Christmas program at church. I wish I'd got some good pictures, but it was too dark. This is Woogie all ready for Polar Express Day at school. She got to wear her jammies, take a stuffed animal, and drink hot chocolate. She was so excited that she was dressed, ready, and in her coat a full 45 minutes before the bus came!

It was funny (and exhausting!) this year, the kids started their campaign to open gifts at 3 AM! We managed to hold them off until 6, but there wasn't much sleeping going on! They were so excited! The pictures are not the best - I'm not a morning person! Notice the look on Woogie's face in the first 2!

It was really nice that Legoboy can help build toys this year! I think he put Meatball's together by himself while we were trying to stay awake!
I tried to tell Woogie that between her barely potty-trained brother and the puppy, we didn't need anything else in the house that peed. It's worth it (although the doll did pee on my aunt's couch...) - she loves her!

What Christmas would be complete without a drum set from the Grandparents?!

Woogie also got some new torture devices for the cat (pink princess pet outfits). I don't think the cat thought she looked as cute in them as Woogie did!
Legoboy of course received numerous lego sets for Christmas. The completed one in the picture has over 900 pieces. I think it took him about 2 hours to put together. It would take me about 2 years!

Usually when I think of Christmas and gifts, I think of the greatest gift of all - the reason we celebrate Christmas, God's son Jesus Christ (at least I try not to get distracted by the busyness!). I love to give gifts, but I don't usually think of Christmas as a time of personally receiving material things. This year was a little different, however. I look back in absolute amazement at the ways God has provided for us and for the adoption. All year we have wondered how we would pay for the adoption. Even if we could indeed pay for it, we were pretty certain it would wipe us out financially for some time. It was by faith that we trusted that everything would work out, and we were willing to give every cent we had. We had hoped the adoption tax credit next year would help us recover from the costs and fees and to get a newer van that we needed desperately (old one was 10+ years old, and falling apart quickly), but we soon realized that the adoption wouldn't be complete in time for next year's return. And now here we are at the end of the year with the adoption expenses set aside, a much newer van in the garage, and due in a large part to an unexpected Christmas present, in a similar if not even better financial situation than before we started to pay for the adoption! God used the gifts, fund raisers, a grant, and numerous other generosities of our friends, neighbors, and even strangers in a more incredible way than we could have ever imagined! We are so humbly grateful for all His gifts to us this year!

Very Cool Play-Doh!

2007-12-27T21:18:00.000-05:00

I'm not usually the biggest fan of play-doh anymore (I think it's permanently embedded in my carpet), but the Beach Creations Bucket Meatball got for his birthday had some really cool sand play-doh! It's gritty, and has the look and feel of wet sand! There's even a shovel with a footprint on it so you can make footprints in the sand! I can play with it for hours, and as you can see, Meatball likes it too!

Song That Speaks My Heart

2007-12-27T09:16:00.000-05:00

I love this song! I first heard it on an adoption video. Of course right now, the first verse is the most meaningful to me. It was the part that completely jumped out at me and spoke the words of my heart. The last part about thanking God for holding her is the thought that keeps me going right now. I hope it will encourage you too.

Swept Away
Written by Geoff Moore and Blair Masters

We would say your name
A hundred times a day
Like speaking words in faith
And with a mixture of
Hope and fear and trust
We prayed for the strength to wait
And dreamed of how we’d feel the day
You’d be in our arms and…

Swept away
Caught up in our love
Home to stay
You’ll never be alone
You’ll be amazed
At how much you are loved
Your life will never be the same
Once you’re swept away

What once was just a dream
Is now reaching up to me
And I hold her in my arms
Father thank You for the way
You held her all those days
That we had to spend apart
And now I see the impossible dream
Is holding me and I’m…

Hurry, hurry, WAIT

2007-12-26T15:10:00.001-05:00

I've been trying to think of how to best summarize our adoption process so far and that is what comes to mind - lots of hurrying, followed by waiting, then some more hurrying and more waiting! We had a wonderful Christmas, and I'll post more about that later, because I'm long overdue in describing the roller coaster of our adoption journey!

In January, when we made the decision to start the adoption process, I hurried to get our home study application in the mail. We got a quick response from the agency - YAY! After all the paperwork was explained to me, I decided I was going to set a world record in paperwork collection! After all, I knew there would be so many things we had no control over the timing of, I decided right then that anything I had to do would get done - FAST! Scott and I worked together and accomplished almost everything needed for the homestudy paperwork in 6 days! We're talking fire inspection, well-water testing, birth certificates, marriage license, autobiography, etc., etc. The only thing we didn't have was a child abuse clearance letter and that was just a small hint of the waiting to come. We had our official visit with the social worker in early Feb., and then all we could do was wait. We had filed our I-600a, but needed to send in our home study. We were also doing everything backward and wanted to wait until our homestudy was done to commit to an agency. So we waited some more.

In the meantime, we had our finger prints done at the USCIS office (talk about "hurry" - we went to the wrong building, and then had to race across town to make our appt.!). Our appt. went well, but we were then met at the car by a parking ticket! We decided that while we were at it, we should apply for our passports as we had been told we would need them as part of our dossier even though we did not plan to travel. This was a big part of why we thought we could adopt from Uzbekistan. So many countries had extreme travel requirements that we didn't see how we could do that with small children and Scott's job. So anyway, I had been very naive about passports. I thought it was like a driver's license - you go to the right place with the right documents and they take your picture and give you a passport. In retrospect, I realize how silly that notion was! After a little detour (we thought we had Scott's original birth cert., but we didn't and had to run around town to get one), we were told it would be 10-12 weeks before we would receive our passports!

While we were waiting for our passports, our homestudy was finalized, we hurried to get our contract into the agency. We got our I171 (adoption approval notice from the USCIS), within a week of the hometudy agency mailing our homestudy in! This had been a step I had been warned could take a LONG time! I was stunned to find it in the mailbox so quickly! We rushed to gather all of the paperwork for our dossier and to complete the required education of our agency, and then we waited again - this time for the passports. Of course, I had secretly hoped they would come before the 10-12 weeks, but 10 weeks came and went, then 11 - the days crawled by. I tried to call the number for the passport agency, but repeatedly was told that due to the high call volume, I would have to call another time and then they hung up on me.

After 12 weeks with no way to get a hold of anyone to see if the passports would come soon or in a year, I did some research and found out that contacting my congressman might speed things up or at least get us some answers. I nervously called and within a day was told they were being overnighted to us! Praise God! I was so excited! I made an appointment for the evening of the day we were to receive them with a lawyer I had found that would notarize our documents free of charge. It was June 14th. That day dragged by. Afternoon came, and I had the kids in the pool. I started getting nervous and called the congressman's office back. They checked for me and called me back to say that the passports had been delivered to the nearby FedEx station, but had been returned to sender due to having the wrong address! I was hysterical at this point! After some more phone calls, a hold was put on the package. I raced to look up the directions for FedEx, dress the kids, and drive to pick it up before they closed. I cried in FedEx as I opened the package to see our perfect passports with no mistakes! Didn't have a whole lot of time to rejoice, because I had to hurry to meet my husband, drop the kids off at my friend's, color copy the passports at Kinko's, and go to the lawyer's office. We were only 20 minutes late!

After I had all of the documents notarized, I triumphantly drove back to pick up the kids. It had been a whirlwind, soap-opera kind of day, andI had no idea that the day was going to get even better! I decided to call my agency to let them know all of the documents for our dossier would be overnighted the next day. At the end of the call, the director said, "By the way, would you still like to match with Myli?!" Of course we did, and she said she would get the papers ready! I hung up the phone and told the kids. Legoboy threw himself into my arms saying "Oh, Mom! Really?!" His joy just added to my own! What a dramatic, incredible day!

After our agency approved our dossier, we hurried to authenticate the various documents at county, state, and federal levels. That meant various stunts including driving the the state capital (5 hour round trip) on the opening day of our church's Vacation Bible School. Did I mention I'm the director?! I knew it was crazy, but I was on a mission to get Myli home as soon as I possibly could! We worked with a wonderful courrier service in D.C., and I almost kissed the FedEx guy that brought the package containing all of our notarized, authenticated dossier papers to my door! Then I raced to copy everything and send it back to the agency on July 3rd. Suddenly, it was out of my hands. What a weird, nerve wracking waiting place that was! Soon, I learned that it had been sent to Uzbekistan, and I anxiously watched the tracking numbers to see when it would be delivered. It was in the same package as another PAP's that I had been keeping in contact with. I'll never forget her e-mail letting me know that our package had arrived!!!!

It went fairly quickly, but then we waited for it to be delivered to the first level of government that it needed to go through. Finally, on Aug. 9th, it was deposited! We thought it would take up to a month for it to be processed. Early Sept. came, and we still hadn't heard anything. It was nerve wracking, but all along I had been learning to let go of everything and trust that God was in control. I am so glad that God had been strengthening my faith throughout this process, because on Sept. 14th a call came that would change everything. The director of our agency called to tell us that the adoption laws in Uzbekistan had changed. Not only would it not be possible to use an escort, but now 2 trips would be required. It was possible that both of us would have to travel and the length of at least one of the trips could be very long. We really felt like our world had been turned upside down, and we told that all we could do was wait and see what would happen.

In the meantime, everyone we knew started praying about the situation. My aunt in another state explained the situation to her church's congregation one Sunday morning, and the pastor said that maybe he already had an answer, then next hymn to be sung would be, "God Will Make a Way!" We had already been struggling with difficulties outside of our adoption. Our van had been damaged when the wheel came off - while I was driving! We found out that Meatball had to have surgery, and then there was a problem with our health insurance that would have been pretty difficult financially. We clung to hope that somehow this would all work out and prayed for God's will. Slowly, it seemed God was making a way. We found out that only one of us would be required to travel. We struggled with the implications of travel, and Scott told me "I will do whatever it takes to bring her home." It seemed a miracle when our insurance problem was fixed, and then another incredibly bright spot - Scott would travel on his first trip the second week of October and meet Myli! We hurried to plan the trip and scrambled to get his visa. The idea of him meeting her so soon seemed to good to be true - and it was. The trip was pushed back to the end of Oct., and in retrospect that was a VERY good thing!

With all of the ups and downs, we were pretty stressed out. We wondered if this was truly God's will. We wondered how we would pay for 2 trips. We wondered if all of this would work out and we would ever have Myli in our arms. And then on Oct. 7, we received an incredible blessing. I'm going to have to devote a whole other post to that, but it was the answer and confirmation that we needed so badly, and it has inspired us through all of the other difficulties in our adoption since then. A few days later, another miracle - Scott would not have to take 2 trips after all! We will probably never know why they changed their minds about waiving our first trip, but I believe with all of my heart it was prayer!

We were then glad Scott had not gone as scheduled because it ended up not being necessary. Everything seemed to be going so well! Even the finances seemed much more doable since we were now looking at just one trip. His new trip was scheduled for Nov.4th. Myli could be here for Thanksgiving! Everyone was so excited! I hurried to buy her clothes and everything that would be needed for the trip. I finally found some Russian language materials that seemed usefuland had them overnighted so that Scott would have them for his trip. I changed all of the plane tickets for a second time, but still it seemed so unreal, so dreamlike. We still had a ton to do when 3 days before he was scheduled to leave, the agency called with bad news. The paperwork wasn't ready, and Scott couldn't go to complete the adoption. It was a devastating blow, but we were told he could probably go in 3 weeks and that it was good that all of this would get straightened out before he went. And for that we were grateful. I truly believe that God is going before us and smoothing out the way.

It seems now that we have been waiting forever. The 3 week time frame did not work out, and for a while we had little idea of when travel might take place. At first it seemed it might be early Dec. Then we learned that it might be quite a while. The latest we have learned is that Scott will most likely be able to travel in mid. Jan. The election in Uzbekistan this past Sun. and then the holidays in Jan. have slowed things down. We are cautiously hopeful that he will indeed travel then, but until then we WAIT!

Happy Birthday, Meatball!

2007-12-21T08:12:00.000-05:00

My baby boy is 3 today! I can't believe how fast time flies! It seems like just yesterday, he was born! His birth was so beautiful and continues to inspire me! Thank you, Meatball, for 3 years of pure joy!

(Please ignore the date stamps, I still have trouble figuring out how to change the bag on my sweeper, so you can imagine what high-tech cameras do to me!)

Because you have to see his thighs to believe them! So much for newborn diapers!

Proud big brother and sister welcome their new baby home!

It's been tricky having a birthday so close to Christmas. Last year, we waited until after New Years to have his party. This year, we decided to have it before Christmas, in case travel will be in January! We are big into birthdays - this year Meatball chose a ball theme. "Ball" was actually his first word, well maybe after "Mommy!" So I guess you could say he likes them!

Remember the soccer cake, I'll tell you why in a minute!

Look at that form! Super Bowl, here he comes!

Woogie thought the cat was being left out of the birthday fun. I don't think the cat agreed!

OK, remember how I said to remember the soccer cake? Well, there's a member of our family I haven't introduced you to yet and that's our 5 month-old black lab, Jada. What were we thinking getting a puppy, I don't know! It had something to do with Scott saying that the kids needed to grow up with a dog, but the details are fuzzy after having her for 3 months! Anyway, because I kind of go cake crazy (I think more about how the cake will look than how much of it we actually NEED), we had a lot of cake left over. There was only about 3 pieces sliced out of that soccer ball cake when I wrapped it in foil and put in in the fridge. Well, a couple days after the party, someone who shall remain nameless (OK, it was Meatball! I'm sure you'd have guessed!) left the fridge door open, and this is what I found...

This is fun!

2007-12-20T12:02:00.001-05:00

I don't know if this will work by pasting the link, but here is a great way to pass the adoption waiting time!

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1303229783

L's nickname

2007-12-20T08:19:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I'm getting this caught up in a simple nickname, but somehow it seems important. I think when you're adopting, you feel so helpless that your little one is so far away that any little thing you can do for them or any decision, no matter how insignificant, becomes really important!

I got a great suggestion - GP, for God's Promise! I love that - so meaningful to me! But then I said it out loud in my head (can you do that?) a couple times and realized it sounded like GP as in General Practitioner. Then I mulled over "Promise" which reminds me of butter, and then it dawned on me - "Candy!" That's what I first learned about her - that she likes candy! Which of course reminded me of Woogie who can't get enough of the stuff! I can't wait to take L to a candy store! Of course, then an observant Uzbek PAP pointed out something about that name that I hadn't known (see comments for details, I want to keep this "G" rated!).

I had already thought maybe I liked "Sweetie" better, but I was also intrigued by the "Doc" suggestion (in reference to the "GP" name gone wrong!). Ok, so now please try to follow my logic as twisted as it may be! I started thinking of Seven Dwarves: Doc - no, Sleepy- no, Grumpy - no (but that could be a great back-up name for Woogie some days!), Happy - oh, wait, that could work! I've heard that she's a very happy, smiley little girl! Oh wait, "Smiley"- that could be a good nickname! Oh, but a little cartoony or something I can't put my finger on. "Smiley," "Smiley," - or "Miley!" Woogie loves Hannah Montana (who is Miley Cyrus - Billy Ray's daughter for those of you who don't have preteen girls!). I've been thinking what a cute name "Miley" is lately, and I know Woogie would approve. But then I thought, what if I changed the spelling to "Myli," which actually has some significance in light of her real name. I LIKE IT! What do you think (if I haven't completely lost you in my train of thought!)? It doesn't mean EENT or OB/GYN in Russian does it?!

Unexpected blessings

2007-12-19T09:51:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I was reminded once again how grateful I am for the incredible support of fellow Uzbek PAP's! When we started this process, I never dreamed I would have such encouragement and find new friends! Thank you for all the thoughtful comments about my new blog.

That being said, I have decided there is one thing I really can't stand about this blog. Despite my desire for some level of privacy for my kids, I cannot stand calling them by letters!!!

So henceforth, N will be "Legoboy," after his incredible obsession.

A will be "Woogie," which is the nickname given to her by Scott. I have no idea what it means, but somehow it fits! It's also often used as an adjective around our house, as if she "woogie-fies," everything around her!

M will be "Meatball." This is an easy one, because for a while I wasn't even sure he knew this wasn't really his name! This is another daddy-invention. I think it may have come from the fact that he was 10 lbs. 8 oz. at birth and then never got any smaller!

L is harder because we don't have a nickname yet. I think Daddy has to see them in person to bestow the appropriate nickname. I'll have to think about a temporary one. Any suggestions?

Background

2007-12-17T22:18:00.000-05:00

I guess to follow our story, you would need to know something about the characters, the setting, and the plot!

My husband, Scott, and I met in 1991. We were 5! Well, not really, but we were really young - high school sweet hearts. I had wanted children for as long as I could remember, and while I was in high school, I was touched by the stories I read about orphans in other countries. I worked with special needs kids at school, and when I graduated, went to nursing school and continued to work with kids. I have always loved children and knew that I wanted to have many!

We married in 1996, and looked into international adoption very soon afterward. There was one little girl with special needs on a photolisting. We called the agency and found out that there was another family that was interested in her, and they were much further along in the process than we were. We needed to be able to take the plunge without a specific child in mind. My husband wasn't quite as ready as I was, and so we waited.

And in 1999, God blessed us with a beautiful baby boy, N!

I quit my job to stay home full-time with him, and just enjoyed him so much! A more awesome kid I could not have asked for! He is a smart, compassionate, and loving boy. My dream of being a mother had come true, but I still wondered what God's plan was for our family, and prayed that He would reveal His plan for our lives. I still felt called to build our family through adoption, but didn't have very much time to think about it, because less than 2 years later, we were blessed by the birth of our wonderful baby girl, A!

A can be so sweet and be such a booger all at the same time! She is a girly-girl princess and a rough-housing tomboy all in one! She's smart, ornery, tenacious, and an awesome gymnast!

At this point, my mind really turned to adoption as I wasn't sure how many more children we could realistically have in our family. My husband still wasn't as interested in the idea, so we again waited. I tried to talk myself out of adoption, tried to think of reasons we shouldn't pursue this path, but every time, I was strongly reminded of this calling. I had never been so sure of anything else in my life! I looked at photolistings of children that needed homes regularly, wishing that we could share our blessings with just one of these children. I couldn't figure out why it wasn't the right time yet, but then in 2004, I got a glimpse of maybe why we were still waiting - another precious baby boy, M!

What an absolute joy he is! He is so funny and so charming! He started making up jokes at 18 months!

Being parents has been the most rewarding and the most challenging thing we have ever done! We feel so blessed to have 3 such wonderful kids, but yet we kept realizing and saying to each other that A needs a sister. On my husband's side of the family there are 6 grandchildren - she is the only girl!

Then, last December (the 6th) to be exact, I saw a picture of a little girl in Uzbekistan. She looked so ornery in her picture! Her description reminded me so very much of my other children! On Jan. 8th, Scott agreed that we should pursue an international adoption (in an e-mail conversation, of course!), and on June 14th we matched with this beautiful 6 year-old girl who happens to look very much like our oldest! I probably shouldn't have been surprised to find out that her name means, "God's promise." After all these years of feeling God leading us to a child, I finally knew that this was the child He had promised us!

A new journey

2007-12-17T13:25:00.001-05:00

After almost a year of reading almost every adoption blog I could find, I have finally started my own! We have learned so much this year and have been blessed beyond measure, I feel the need to share our adoption adventure in case it might encourage others on their journey. I also feel compelled to document this journey of a lifetime for our children, especially our (hopefully) soon-to-be daughter, L.

I've never been into journaling, and I'm almost hopeless when it comes to technology, but nonetheless, I hope to be able to catch up on all that has happened over the last year while simultaneously documenting this last period of waiting until my husband will travel half way around the world and bring home our new daughter!

Our Uzbekistan Adoption Journey

Remember When?

God's Grace

How Behind Am I?! - First Day of School!

Zoo - Finally

Wow! Six months makes a big difference!

Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

Welcome Home Myli/Belated Birthday Party

More Pictures

Pictures!

We're Home With Myli!

We're Diving In!

Yet Another Milestone

6 Random Things

My Spring House Project

Birthday Reflections

Camping Trip

More Summer Memories - The Zoo in June

First Day of School

Cedar Point

The Birthday Party - Finally!

Woogie's Birthday

What We've Been Up To

I needed this reminder. It was in my e-mail this morning.

Another Anniversary

Anniversary, etc.

Another Good-bye

Tragedy

Boring Blog

First Tag!

Four Births, a Funeral, and Pictures

My Song For Today

OOOOPS!

Just To Clarify

Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

The news is in...

60 Things While We're Still Waiting

Our House

And Then, The Sun Came Out!

Oh, The Weather Outside is Frightful...

Wacky Weather!

Adoption Update

Let It Snow!

More Waiting and a Beautiful Analogy

Waiting

Motherhood is Educational

Happy Birthday, Myli!

Outside It Was!

Snow Days

All Things Russian

Another Anniversary

No News is Good News?

Blast From The Past

More Problems

P.S.

Another Setback

Cats and Dogs and Kids - Oh, My!

For Myli

Still Nothing

Still Waiting

I Feel Like I've Been Pregnant for a Year

Getting Ready For Myli

Shaohannah's Hope

Christmas

Very Cool Play-Doh!

Song That Speaks My Heart

Hurry, hurry, WAIT

Happy Birthday, Meatball!

This is fun!

L's nickname

Unexpected blessings

Background

A new journey