More Problems

This has been a long week. It's hard to believe that it was just last Friday that we went to a local adoption support group for the first time. That was a really nice and informative experience. We had a great dinner and got to commiserate with adoptive parents who have been through the struggles and delays we have, but are on the other side with their children home. It gave us hope. They had a birthmother, an adoptive parent, and two adults who had been adopted as infants (one domestically and one internationally) speak about their life stories. It was very emotional, but just an awesome experience! Maybe again God was preparing my heart for more bad news.

There have been more delays with the adoption that has to be finalized before ours. The setback that we encountered last week seems to be even more complicated than I originally understood it to be, and I thought it sounded next to impossible when I first heard it! And to top it all off, it seems there are to be some changes in the region where we are adopting. All of these factors put together have me pretty convinced that it will be nothing short of a miracle if we can bring Myli home any time in the near future. But I believe God is a God of miracles, so I still have hope. It's been really hard lately, though. Meatball said out of the blue the other day, "Mommy, is Myli coming?" And then yesterday when I got off the phone with the adoption agency, he asked, "Did she say we could have Myli?" I didn't even tell him who I was talking to. He just figured it out. Our kids really don't understand why it is taking so long to bring home their new sister. I can't imagine how broken hearted they will be if we aren't able to.

One bright spot was new pictures of Myli. They are like winning the lottery to me! One of them, again, very much resembled Legoboy. I told him that as we were looking at them. He zoomed in really close so that her face filled the whole screen and told me that she didn't look just like him, because she didn't have a small red birthmark on her temple like he does. I explained to him that of course, they aren't absolutely identical in every way, but that she looks like his sister. He exclaimed, "Well, of course she does, Mom, she IS my sister!" This is the coming from same boy who had a hard time in the beginning understanding how adoption would make Myli his sister! I really believe she is meant to be their sister, I just hope and pray they will be get meet her one day soon.

We are getting tired. We are again experiencing problems in addition to the adoption. I just keep looking back at the other times where it just seemed like we were being pummeled left and right by difficulties. It was in those times when we saw the hand of God the most. We saw the most incredible answers to prayer! I just have to trust that even in these difficult times of uncertainty, that God is still in control. I look forward to seeing how He will work in this situation. Not just for us, but for Myli, so that she can have a home and a family as soon as possible!

P.S.

I just realized I left an important tidbit out of the post below. Somewhere along the way, I've heard to pay attention to the details during the adoption process - the little warm fuzzies along the way. So, yesterday I was thinking about a dear friend of mine who is out of town. Their whole family went to Disney! YAY! I began to pray for her and her family and their trip when I remembered the last conversation I had with her before they left. She told me about a Focus on the Family broadcast she had heard about adoption the past week. She said it reminded her so much of us, and she thought it would be an encouragement to me to listen to it. I filed it away in my brain to listen to when I had time, but completely forgot about it until that moment. I went over to the computer and actually found the broadcast. I started listening to it, and was she ever right! It was such an encouragement! It was almost over when the phone rang, and I knew it was going to be our adoption agency- and it was. I feel like God was preparing me for some bad news. He knew my need for encouragement before I even needed it. And come to think of it, I still haven't listened to the last 2 minutes of that broadcast!

Another Setback

The news finally came, but it was not the good news I had hoped to hear. Not only was the last document not finished, but it seems there may be a problem with completing it. But history has shown me that even when things seem the most impossible, there's still hope. I'm just really expecting another miracle with this. It also helps to have the assurance that our coordinator will not give up. I really believe this will all work out, but I have to wonder when?!

It wasn't all bad news, though. We also found out that the documents have all been received for the adoption that has to take place before ours. Hopefully, there won't be any more delays, the mayor will finalize the adoption quickly, and a precious little girl will get to go home to her new family very soon!

I also found out more about Myli's birth family. The details are so important to me as I know how important they will be to her. My heart goes out to her birth mother. I'm not sure if it is possible, but I am thinking about asking if I could send a gift for her when Scott travels. I'm sure it can't be anything valuable (nor would I want it to be), so I'm thinking about something more sentimental. Any ideas??

Here is a bracelet I found for our coordinator at an antique mall when Scott and I went away for the night. Isn't it pretty? The pictures don't really do it justice. The rhinestones are blue or purple depending on how the light hits them. I hope she likes it! I kind of wish I had bought one or two pieces for myself. I'm not really big into jewelry, but some of these were beautiful!

Cats and Dogs and Kids - Oh, My!

I was truly hoping to hear some good news about our adoption this weekend, but it was not to be. Sadly, the progress we have been expecting has not happened yet. In the meantime, we had a busy weekend to keep us occupied.

On Friday, Woogie had show and tell. This is the second time I have brought a cat into school at her insistence (aka begging!). This year, Lovebug was the lucky cat. She is one of the kittens we acquired last summer. Scott had started feeding a stray cat that looked remarkably like our cat, Moses. I tried to dissuade him, reminding him that we already had 2 cats and really couldn't have anymore, but nonetheless, she showed up at least daily in the beginning looking for food. We started calling her P.K. for porch kitty because I was determined that's all she would become! Soon we realized that this cat had a voracious appetite, returning more times a day to be fed. Then we noticed her belly growing a bit, and then that her nipples were pink and prominent - Oh shoot! P.K. also stood for Pregnant Kitty! So we took her to the vet, moved her into the garage, and waited for the coming kittens. I was worried about how we were going to find homes for them, but at the same time, I was a little excited for the kids to experience the birth and early weeks of kittens. It was a neat experience, but it took us a lot longer to find homes for them than I hoped for, and then we ended up stuck with one kitten and the mom. That kitten actually went home with someone and came back a couple days later because she wouldn't stop crying! I was shocked since we had not had a single problem with that cat - she was so laid back and easy going - we affectionately called her Lovebug (all the kittens had generic-let's-not-get-attached names). I guess in the end, I'm glad we had one left. The kids had a difficult time seeing their favorites leave. It was hard for mom and dad too! Woogie still gets emotional about her favorite, Speedy.

This is where Lovebug sleeps, on Woogie's pillow - willingly!


Here are some pictures of the kittens with their mom.



So anyway, I went to show and tell with Meatball and a cat carrier that was awkward enough to carry, but then I realized the pin that held it shut was missing! The actual show and tell went pretty well, so then I gathered up Meatball, Woogie, and Legoboy, and and all of their school stuff and we went to check out in the office. I decided to ask the secretary about enrolling Myli if she's not a U.S. citizen when she first starts school. So I'm holding a broken cat carrier with a less than happy cat inside against my leg at an angle to keep her inside, trying to keep Meatball out of the pencils and volunteer buttons, and the older 2 are looking at me with that "come on Mom, these backpacks are getting really heavy" look. After I finished talking to the secretary, we had to make a train to keep safe in the incredibly busy after school parking lot and negotiated all of us to the van. I can only imagine the conversation that went on in the office about the crazy lady who was going to add another child to that spectacle!

Woogie had Sleep Over Sisters at church that night and Legoboy had a birthday party. It was funny when I picked Woogie up the next morning, I pulled into he parking lot and there was a little girl walking toward our van. Meatball called from the backseat, "Don't hit that girl, Mom!" "Ok, Sweetie!" I replied as we made our way around her (good thing he's around! LOL!). After we had gone past her, Meatball said very sincerely, "GOOD JOB, MOM!!" as if I had accomplished something quite spectacular!

On Sunday after church we went bowling. I told Scott we have to get a digital video camera so I can post Woogie bowling on here! Her approach is absolutely hysterical! She runs up with the ball, stops and throws it. My description doesn't do it justice! I just laughed the whole time!

Yesterday, the kids were off school for MLK day. In the morning before Legoboy left to go to Laser Quest with a friend, they were all sitting on the couch watching TV. They inevitably got into the classic argument - He/She Took My Spot! I, of course, responded with the I-don't see-your-name-engraved-on-that-spot line my mom always used. A little later, Meatball was complaining (whining, actually) that someone took his blanket that had his name "enraved on it!" My kids crack me up! But yet, I was a little glad school was back in session today!

I've neglected to mention the middle part of the title - the dog. She is still constantly into things. In fact while I'm writing this, she got a hold of a half dozen waffles I was waiting to cool so I could freeze them. They're gone now. Last week when I went to the neighborhood tea, I made 2 pepperoni and olive loaves. I put one in the oven, but the other wouldn't fit at the same time. Silly me left the other on a cookie sheet on top of the oven while I went downstairs to throw in a load of laundry. When I came back up, I was confused for a minute. Did I put that other loaf in the oven after all? Did I put it in the fridge? No! All that was left was a little bit of cheese sprinkled on the cookie sheet!!! But she and Meatball are fast friends so I guess we'll continue to put up with her. As you see she has grown quite a bit since we got a cute little puppy just a little over 4 months ago! Scott calls her Puppy-osaurus! (Notice Meatball's spaghetti face! No wonder Jada likes him!)

For Myli

I found this poem on another adoption blog. I think I've read it somewhere before, and I'm so glad I ran into it again!

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that’s how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are…what’s taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin…
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I’m doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you’ll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

-------- Author Unknown

Still Nothing

I still have no real update and no travel date. But somehow I have a peace and calm about it - truly peace that passes understanding!

This week has been good, though. Scott and I had a wonderful night away. It was very much needed! I just wish it could have been a little longer! When I mentioned to him that it had been over 3 years since we had been there at our favorite getaway, he was surprised it had been so long. We really need to try to do this more often! On Saturday, we went browsing around to some of the shops and stopped at an antique mall. I found a beautiful bracelet to give to our coordinator. The funniest thing happened - we were wandering around looking for that antique mall, so we walked down past a strip of shops (where one wouldn't typically walk!) to see if we could figure out where it was. We didn't see it, so we turned around and right in front of me was the door to the Golden Rule travel agency - the first travel agency I had contacted about our trip! I knew they were located somewhere down there, but I couldn't have found that hole in the wall if I had been trying! Although they were extremely nice and helpful, we didn't end up using them, but I still felt somehow encouraged to see that sign.

Our builder called this week and had some good news. It appears that we would be able to do an addition on our house after all! He's coming back to day to double check some measurements, but it really sounds like it may become an option! Monday evening, I went our our neighborhood ladies' tea and was again reminded that I don't want to move. What an incredible group of women that are my neighbors! We had a great time!

Yesterday, I started teaching a series of childbirth classes at the pregnancy center where I volunteer. We had a great group, and I left in awe of the people that God allows me to cross paths with! Then I came home and felt the same way when I was in contact with some PAP's I've encountered along this path of adoption. It's hard to justify complaining about the waiting when I feel so incredibly blessed! God has shown me beyond a shadow of a doubt that He is in control and it is a great comfort.

Still Waiting

Well, no travel date yet. We were really hoping to hear something this week. Basically another adoption has to be finalized before ours, and we were hoping that would happen this week. There may be some movement on both our adoption and the other adoption soon, so we at least have some positive things to hope for! I really feel God is teaching me patience and flexibility in all of this. We really do have a peace about all of this and know that God is in control.

We met with a builder today to discuss the possibility of adding onto our house. It's getting a bit crowded around here (our house is less than 1200 sq. feet, but a finished basement with a big playroom has saved us so far!), but I can't imagine moving out of our neighborhood. We live on a really quiet dead-end road. It's such a perfect place for kids. They can ride their bikes and scooters, visit the cows and goats on the farm at the end of the road, go for walks in the woods, and fish at the pond at the other end of the road. Sometimes, if we miss church for some reason, we get to watch the Amish horses and buggy's making their way to church from our back patio door. I also love our schools and was pleased to find out they have an English as a Second Language (ESL) teacher in the district and an ESL class at one of the elementary schools. I think the students are mainly Ukrainian which could be really nice for Myli to be able to be around other kids that speak Russian if we decide to send her to school. So anyway, it would be really nice to not have to move. We really haven't found much on the market that suits our needs in this school district. The builder seemed like a great guy and very knowledgeable, but it sounds like there may be some obstacles to us adding onto our house. We'll have to wait and see what he finds out.

We're planning to go away overnight tomorrow night without kids for the first time in a very long time. I am so excited! I was surprised they had an opening at our favorite cottage in Amish country this weekend, so we decided to take advantage of the delays and have one last get-away together. It's kind of been a tradition of ours to try to get away before each new baby, knowing it will be a while until we can do it again, and we had been hoping to do it this time as well. Of course Legoboy came home from school with a fever yesterday, and we were afraid that our plans might have to be canceled (we have a lot of experience at being flexible with our plans!). Fortunately, he seems completely recovered (which is also good because it was non-refundable!), and I have a last minute grocery store trip to make and packing to do! I am really looking forward to this time alone with Scott and for the distraction. This place is really great - one large room with a vaulted cedar ceiling, a beautiful gas fireplace, complimentary cookies and non-alcoholic champagne, the most comfy bed and softest towels ever! They even bring a wonderful hot breakfast to your door in the morning in a basket! It just doesn't get any better!

I Feel Like I've Been Pregnant for a Year

This is how I feel today - ready to explode! One year ago today, we decided to start this adoption process. I remember how caught off guard I was to feel the same feeling I felt when I saw that first positive pregnancy test I had been wanting to see for so long - the perfect mixture of absolute joy and terror!

All along the way I've been struck by the similarities of the processes of pregnancy and adoption. Occasionally I get overwhelmed thinking about how I will care for another child. Or I start thinking about how this will affect our other children or about how it will change the dynamics of our family. All the same concerns I had each time I was pregnant! And now I don't know why I'm surprised that we're still waiting for our little girl, I went overdue with all of my kids! And it's so similar. After I would go past my due dates, Scott used to say he didn't believe there was really a baby - it must be a tumor. Some days I feel like that. Is this really going to happen? Are we really going to get a new daughter out of all of this? I'm as emotionally tired as I was physically tired in this picture (and this was Woogie - 2 lbs. smaller than Meatball!). I'm so ready to get this over with, meet my little girl, and hold her in my arms! I'm so ready to love and care for her and experience what it is like to have four children. I'm so past ready!

On the bright side, I had a little distraction today. Our dryer has been broken for a week, and we haven't been able to get someone here to fix it. I'm used to doing 2 loads of laundry every day, so you can only imagine how it was starting to pile up! Well, it got fixed today! I wanted to kiss the repairman (hey - same feeling I had for the guy who gave me an epidural during my first birth!).

Getting Ready For Myli

I've enjoyed preparing for Myli's arrival, even thought sometimes it's been hard to figure out exactly what she needs. Last October, we went crazy trying to prepare for her arrival. There was so much to do! We needed to find bunk beds and mattresses, bedding, and clothes. At least we had a head start already having a girl. We had a pink room and clothes we thought they could share. I think that was part of the reason I was kind of lax getting ready for her. But then when we thought she was coming we realized we needed to kick it into high gear! And now it all waits for her...

Here's the room Woogie and Myli will share. A friend gave me an extra set of girl's bedding. Isn't it perfect?! I wonder who will want to sleep on the top bunk?


I LOVED shopping for Myli's clothes! It was one of those things that helps make this seem real. I also just love the idea of dressing her in clothes that will hopefully make her feel like the princess she already is to us! Meatball went with me on some of the shopping and told various strangers in the store, "We're 'dopting Myli." He also came in handy for shoe shopping. It seems he and Myli wear the same size. I just hope no one saw me trying girl's shoes on him! I decided that since it will be Scott taking care of her by himself for a couple weeks over there that I needed a wardrobe strategy. I wanted to pick a color palate and items that could all be mixed and matched - foolproof!. Of course, I'm also a bargain shopper, so it was kind of a tall order, but I was pretty pleased with the results! I went back later and got clothes in smaller sizes after an eye-witness told me how small she was. Now I'm hoping all of this fits her by the time we actually get her! Hopefully, it will still be the right season for all the warm stuff as well!


This seems a little silly today. It's 62 degrees! Pretty warm for this area in January, but spring will be here before we know it! I had to get Woogie matching hat, gloves, and scarf set. I hope Myli likes pink!
I usually hit all the clearance sales at the end of the seasons, so last summer, I found lots of coordinating girls' summer clothes. I especially loved these dresses! Can't you just see our two girls in these! Hope they fit!

Shaohannah's Hope

I've been holding off on telling the story about one of the most amazing days in our adoption journey in hope that I would suddenly become tech savvy and be able to post some links, videos, etc. ! But since it's not happening, I guess I'll just have to tell the story and try to add stuff later.

First a little background. I've always followed Steven Curtis Chapman's (SCC for short because I don't want to keep writing his name!) music and career. As a pre-teen, I had attended an incredible youth convention where a then hardly known young singer and song writer performed his music and shared with us about his life. I vaguely remember meeting him and speaking to him with a dear friend of mine who is still my friend to this day. Our youth group only had 4 members in attendance, but we won a stereo and cassette tapes in a raffle. That was how I got my first SCC tape. Over the years as his career became enormously successful, and I felt just a bit of a connection to it, kind of like I knew him back when!

I remember one of the times when I was trying to find a way to talk myself out of adoption. Maybe it wasn't what God was calling us to do, maybe it was all in my mind. Maybe when the kids were older, we could think about it. And just when I had talked myself into a little peace with all of that in my head, I turned the radio on in the car to hear SCC's voice talking about adoption and how he heard God's call and struggled against it. It was like God was telling me not to give up hope just yet - it was going to happen. So when Scott finally was ready to pursue an adoption, of course I thought about SCC's grant organization called Shaohannah's Hope (after his first daughter from China). I looked at the website and thought I saw (although I know it must not have said this now) that we had to go through specific adoption agencies to qualify. Oh well, so much for that, I thought! So I started selling Mary Kay products trying to help raise the money we needed for the adoption.

One day in March, I was at my daughter's gymnastics class, sitting with a mom I hadn't seen for a while. She asked why we weren't doing Saturday's anymore (I believe this was a make-up class for her daughter, we had met when our daughter's were in the Sat. class together). I told her that I was doing Mary Kay classes on Saturdays to help raise money for our international adoption. Her jaw about hit the floor! She and her husband were trying to internationally adopt a little girl with Down Syndrome! We talked like crazy throughout the class (sorry, Woogie, I missed all the cartwheels!), and we exchanged e-mails. As we left, I told her that very morning I had been to a mother's prayer meeting at church (the only one I went to, I'm sorry to say!), and another mother had prayed specifically for me that I would find someone going through the adoption process that would be able to support and encourage me! It was a prayer I didn't even think to pray, and now I realize the wisdom of that prayer. Not only did I find this woman, but also lots of online support that has just been invaluable!

OK, back to the story. I had tried to e-mail the lady from gymnastics after we talked, but never heard back from her until out of the blue in late July or Aug. She mentioned that they were applying for a grant from Shaohannah's Hope and had I considered this. I e-mailed her back, telling her that we didn't qualify, but also thinking I should go back to that website again. When I did, I found no restriction on agencies! I've since been told there never was one. I really believe God had allowed me to believe that until just the right time. I quickly got our application together and sent in all the necessary paperwork. I had no idea how much the grants were and really wasn't counting on qualifying. Very soon after we applied, I received a phone call from Shaohannah's Hope asking us if we could go to SCC's concert that was coming up in the area. They wanted us to share a bit about our adoption as they were trying to bring attention to the need for adoption at the concert. I'm not really big on getting up in front of large crowds, but I nervously agreed as I felt that this was an opportunity for us to help more children find homes. My husband was really excited (which is good, because I agreed before I asked him!)! It was funny, because when I had sent our application letter to my friend (the same one that went to the youth convention with me) for proof-reading and a second opinion, she had told me about the upcoming concert, and we had already purchased tickets and planned to attend.

It was a couple weeks after that phone call, we got the devastating call about the law changes and the need for multiple trips. That month was so hard! We didn't know what we were doing, and now we were going to talk about our adoption in front of a whole concert audience! I was really hoping at this point that there would be multiple families from the area, not just us on that stage! We were far less positive about our adoption experience than at the time of agreeing to speak at the concert!

We were nervous and excited about the concert. At least, by the time of the concert we had Scott's first trip scheduled and were feeling a bit more positive about things, but we were still trying to figure out what God was doing in all of this. Having never intended to travel, we had a myriad of fears and concerns - would Scott be able to take the time off work he needed, how would we pay for 2 trips, how would Scott be a single parent to a child he couldn't communicate with for 2 weeks in a foreign country, would we be able to figure international travel out or would I accidentally book his flights wrong and have him stuck in Australia somewhere?! I think Scott even asked me if we might be getting a grant that night. I told him that I had been told it would take several months for them to make a decision, and I didn't even know if we would know if we were getting a grant before the adoption was finalized. I didn't even remember to take the camera.

Mercifully, just before intermission we got a little hint of what was to come or else I think I would have passed out on stage! SCC came out and talked about Show Hope and Change for Orphans. They were collecting change at every concert to give to a local family that was adopting. They were here tonight. Scott and I just looked at each other. Us? Couldn't be! SCC even went on to say that said maybe there would be a lot of families, I guess trying to continue the surprise. That must be it, I thought, we didn't qualify for a grant, so they're going to bring up a bunch of local families and split up what they collected tonight. How nice! So now we were really nervous! We waited until the song came on that they told us to walk out and meet up with the person who would take us up on stage. It was funny that the song was, "Live Out Loud," because that's the song that Woogie calls the "Coffee Can Song." That morning at church, she went up to everyone she saw, and said "My mom and dad are going to see the man that sings the Coffee Can song." We, of course, got a lot of blank looks! That song was the 2nd to last song, and when we got up, a lot of other people did too. Oh, there were many families here, not just us! But then they started going toward the bathroom and the exits until it was just us walking toward the meeting spot! Now I was REALLY nervous!!

Please understand that the rest of this is pretty much a blur! We went out on stage after the last song was over. I found out later that my friend was very close to the stage and was able to share the whole experience with us. SCC introduced us and asked Scott a few questions about where we were adopting from, how old our daughter was, and when his trip was scheduled for. Thank goodness I didn't have to speak! Then, he gave us a $4000 grant! I cried of course! That was wonderful, but the best part was when SCC led the entire audience in prayer for our adoption, praying for Myli by name! It was such an awesome moment! We just felt like God came down and showed us His love and care. Like He wanted to reassure us in a big way that this was His plan, that He was still in control, and that He would continue to provide for us and lead us. I cannot explain what that did for us at that moment and continues to do for us as we continue on this journey.

We walked off the stage with SCC and talked with him and his wife for a few minutes, and show them some pictures of Myli. It was so nice to talk with them, knowing that they have been through this 3 times! They were so encouraging! I was able to share what a blessing that grant was to us, the current struggles we had been having, and how much this experience meant to us at that very moment. I was able to share how much of an inspiration they have been to us through their example of faith and through his music.

So even though, I don't know how to post links and stuff, please visit Shaohannahshope.org. They have a great video called "Treasure," I believe. SCC's daughter is so very cute! I also highly recommend all of his music including his beautiful songs about adoption. He also has a new song out that isn't about adoption, but was inspired by his daughters. It's called "Cinderella," and there wasn't a dry eye in the audience that night when he sang it!