Adoption Update

Well, we are still VERY snowy around here. I think the only reason the kids keep going to school is that they ran out of snow days this week. But yet, it's another day that I can't see the road. Meatball and I were going to go to a church today to play with his cousins. They have a really neat play area that is bigger and cleaner than McDonald's. And there's no feeling of obligation to buy junk food! It's not looking likely that we will make it.... I hope it's a bit better tomorrow. The elementary school is having their yearly carnival, and the kids are really looking forward to it.

We did have some encouraging news regarding our adoption this week, and there was good news for other families adopting from Uzbek as well, so I've been feeling a bit more positive about things that last couple days. I am cautiously optimistic that Scott may be able to travel by the beginning of April. To have a timeline to look forward to once again is very good, but it also makes me again return to my list of things that have to be done by the time he leaves! It's been hard for us to prepare during the delays considering all of the uncertainty. I know I won't complain, though, no matter what I have to do!!! It's so exciting to think that there really may be a light at the end of this tunnel...

Let It Snow!

Just when I thought that we have had our share of heavy snow this winter, and surely spring is around the corner...

This is when you could still SEE the road!

More Waiting and a Beautiful Analogy

I'm really loving this little book that I was given the other day. It's called, "Learning to Wait," by John Ortberg. I found this section so profound in light of our situation. He writes:

"Henri Nouwen gave us a picture of patient trust not long before he died in 1996. Writing about some trapeze artists who became good friends of his, he explained that there is a very special relationship between the flyer and the catcher....

As the flyer is swinging high above the crowd, the moment comes when he lets go of the trapeze, when he arcs out into the air. For that moment, which must feel like an eternity, the flyer is suspended in nothingness. It is too late to reach back for the trapeze. There is no going back now. However, it is too soon to be grasped by the one who will catch him. He cannot accelerate the catch. In that moment, his job is to be as still and motionless as he can.

'The flyer must never try to catch the catcher,' the trapeze artist told Nouwen. 'He must wait in absolute trust. The catcher will catch him. But he must wait, His job is not to flail about in anxiety. In fact, if he does, it could kill him. His job is to be still. To wait. And to wait is the hardest work of all.'

You may be in that vulnerable moment right now - you have let go of what God has called you to let go of, but you can't feel God's other hand catching you yet. Will you wait in absolute trust? Will you be patient? Waiting requires patient trust."

What an incredible picture of how we're feeling right now! We've trusted God and let go of the trapeze, and we can trust Him the catch us as well. Will we wait in patient trust? I hope this encourages others who are waiting also.

Waiting

We have had a couple "down" weeks - injury, illness, and really bad weather have been keeping us really cooped up! Cabin fever is starting to hit big time! I hope it warms up a bit now that we are all feeling better, and we can get out of the house!

Today, someone at church gave me a little book to read about waiting. She knows the struggles we've had lately with the delays in our adoption. There was one part that I found particularly funny, and humor is a MUST right now! It said that an economist once asked God, "Is it true that a minute is like a thousand years to you?" God replied, "Yes." The economist went on, "Then, a penny must be like a million dollars to you." And God replied, "Yes." "Well, then," the economist continued, "can I have one of those pennies?" "Yes," answered God, "Wait here a minute." LOL! Isn't that funny?!

On Friday, it became apparent that we are really looking at waiting at least until April for Scott to travel. It's hard to even believe that as I look back at what our previous expectations had been. And truly, if it was just waiting on something for me, it would be one thing, what gets me is that Myli has to wait, and it's hard to even imagine what purpose is being served for her to wait even one more day for a family. But still, I know that in the grand scheme of things there must be some purpose - that God is still on His throne and in control. This is the song that keeps running through my head today:

Steven Curtis Chapman/Margaret Becker
Isaiah 40:27-31

You wonder when
The Lord will renew the strength within you
You wonder how
How can He use you as you are
Seems like you're wasting precious time
But then a voice comes to remind you (to wait)

Chorus
Wait, wait, wait on the Lord
You will understand in time
Why you must wait
Wait, wait, wait on the Lord
Yes He hears you
But for now you must wait on the Lord

Answers come slowly to your cries of desperation
But time is His tool
Teaching the greatest lessons learned
So let Him do His work in you
And watch the miracles come true as you (wait)

Chorus

They that wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength
They will rise up with wings as eagles
They will run, not get weary
They will walk and not faint
That's a promise to us when we (wait)

Repeat Chorus

Motherhood is Educational

I've learned many things since I became a mother. I want to share a few things I learned in a very short time yesterday (10 minutes tops!).

1. I've always heard that peanut butter gets gum out of hair. This is not true! It doesn't even get it off of skin!

2. Spelling homework and bathwater don't mix.

3. Apparently, putting the 3 year-old responsible for #2 in the corner by a door for a time out is a bad idea since he can disassemble hinges with alarming speed(Oh, that was new too, I didn't know that before!).

Happy Birthday, Myli!

My little girl that I have yet to meet is 7 today! I have to admit it's another bittersweet day. Even way back when we were expecting her to be home by Thanksgiving, I always had this date in the back of my mind. For sure, she would be home for her birthday...

It's hard to think about her growing up all this time without us. It's hard to wonder how much longer it will be... I think I've been building a bit of an emotional wall around myself this last month, since we were told that things were not going well. So much so that I actually got some good news last Friday and haven't felt as excited as I should be. We were told that the last of the necessary documents could be finished this week. And it's not just good news because of the papers might be finished, but even that they are ABLE to be finished! There is still a major hurdle even after the papers are ready, so I don't know if that's why I still feel so guarded, or if it's just because we're so numb from the emotional ups and downs. Well, so much for a "happy" birthday post! To end on a positive, though, I'm going to share the first of a series of letters I've been writing in a journal for Myli. Re-reading them helps me bring back some of the earlier joy I felt before we encountered so many stumbling blocks.

October 31, 2007

Dear Myli,

I sat staring at your pictures tonight thinking about the fact that very soon you will be my daughter for the rest of your life, and I've never even met you yet! It's so hard for me to understand, I can only imagine how hard it may be for you, but I'm going to do my best to show you how much we already love you and know that you are meant to be part of our family. It overwhelms me to think that God has a plan to knit our lives together from opposite sides of the world.

Seven years ago today, I found out that I was pregnant. Now I know that your birthmother was carrying you at the very same time. In fact, 5 days before you were born, I found out that I was carrying a baby girl - your sister, Woogie. I was thinking about this one night soon after I found out that you would be our daughter, and I suddenly realized that less than 2 years before you were born (just after Legoboy was born), I had a vivid dream that I had twin girls. It was so real that I remember telling people about it, almost believing the next time I was pregnant, I would be having TWO baby girls. I was startled to realize that after 6 years, I am finally getting my two little girls I saw playing together in my dream!

You are so beautiful! I feel like I must still be dreaming because in just 3 short weeks, I should be holding you in my arms! I'm so excited, but so nervous! I don't know what you'll think of us! We're not sure how well we'll be able to communicate at first, but we are trusting God. He has been with us every step of the way - guiding, encouraging, and providing for us. We know we can continue to trust and depend on Him!

Outside It Was!

Snow Days

This is my kids' 3rd snow day in a row. They have yet to go to school this week! It's been so cold that I haven't wanted to send them outside either. The roads are so bad, we can't go anywhere. We are really cooped up! Yesterday, we did a few fun things even though I pulled a muscle in my hip and couldn't do much physically. We started reading "Little House on the Prairie" (we finished "Little House in the Big Woods" a while ago), and we (well, mostly I!) made candy for Scott for Valentine's Day. I thought today we would really have to do some fun things. Vegging time is over, and we desperately need to do something about this cabin fever! But then I woke up with the back of my throat so swollen, I can hardly talk, and I feel like I'm choking! This happened once before to Scott, so I wasn't too alarmed knowing that it would go away soon. I'm thinking it may be from a virus since Legoboy was sick Sunday-Monday with a fever and sore throat (and just one incident of up-chuck!). It is just not good to not be able to do much with 3 stir-crazy kids (and 1 stir crazy mom!)! I'm thinking I'm either going to have to let them go out today for a short time or let them bring a little snow in on the table... We'll see...

All Things Russian

I don't know if I've ever mentioned the fact that Myli is Russian. She speaks Russian, and I believe her birth mother was born in Russia. So not only have we tried to learn about Uzbekistan, but we've also tried to learn about Russian culture. I've enjoyed learning a little Russian, and thanks to some material I found online, I feel like I am becoming more prepared to converse with Myli a bit. This is where we found the most helpful language guide! http://worknotes.com/AZ/AdoptingFromRussia/Kelleher/h0.stm
I was getting tired of hunting through Russian language materials to find anything that might be helpful to learn. I really don't have time to learn how to order from a restaurant or ask for directions. I also wasn't very interested in learning a whole new alphabet. This is great because it's all phonetic and is specific to the things you would want to learn to say to your new child. There are also other languages offered besides Russian. The lady that developed this was so nice to me. She had never overnighted the material before, but I was just desperate to get it before Scott was supposed to leave. She really went out of her way to work with me and encourage me in all of this. I think of her often, and how she said that when she adopted her son, it was a pilot program and it took 3 years. She said she hoped it had not taken us that long, and at the time, I reassured her that it had not taken us nearly that long. Now, unfortunately, I'm starting to see how such things happen!

Woogie and I went to a great Russian festival back in October at a local Russian Orthodox church. We didn't really go prepared to eat, but we did sample the Russian donuts - YUM! This year, we will definitely have to take the whole family and have dinner. Everything looked and smelled DELICIOUS! I didn't realize how much the traditional foods in my own family are very similar to Russian foods, but I guess it makes sense since we have a lot of Eastern European (Hungarian and German) in us. One of the highlights of the evening was Russian dancing. Woogie and I really enjoyed it!

Well, now I have a new addiction while I'm waiting for things to move on our adoption. It's kind of fitting because it's Russian Solitaire. It's very hard to win (I've only won 2 games out of a lot of attempts), but I can't stop playing nonetheless! Here's the link in case anyone is bored or wants to torture themselves!

http://justsolitaire.com/game.php?game=RussianSolitaire

Another Anniversary

Today is the day we had our social worker visit for our homestudy last year. Can it really be a year ago?! I wonder how many more milestones we'll experience this year before Myli is home. So now I guess I feel like I've been pregnant for 13 months - glad I don't have any pictures to go along with that idea!

No News is Good News?

I hope this is true, but somehow I'm not convinced it applies in this case! I have heard a little bit of an update - just that one more thing (I'm not sure what it is) is being worked on this week (in an attempt to finalize the paperwork needed to have the mayor sign our adoption), and if it doesn't work after this week, new avenues may be explored. I guess I could get a call any minute saying that all has been worked out, and Scott can travel to finalize our adoption, but somehow I'm starting to think that we're in this for the long haul. Maybe that's the best way to think, anyway, and then I will be pleasantly surprised if this is finished sooner rather than later. It has been rough the last couple weeks. I think mainly because most of the time up to this point, we have had some time frame we were shooting for. Now, we really don't have any idea when Scott will travel. I booked him some tickets to go with his dad to Florida for a weekend next month, so I guess we're trying to move on with our lives in some ways. Maybe Murphy's Law will kick in, and that's the weekend he'll be allowed to go to Uzbekistan! I wouldn't mind having to change the tickets at all! I think it's hard also because Myli's birthday is coming up very soon, and I always had that in mind as the latest possible time of her arrival. I never really believed the earlier time frames I was given, deep down I really felt it would take longer, but I never had any doubt that she would be here in time for us to celebrate her 7th birthday - what a joyous celebration that would have been! I always picture her and Woogie in coordinating Easter dresses and hats, and now I'm fairly certain that won't happen this year either. Hopefully, next year it will be different...

Like I said, it's been hard to balance the way our adoption has taken over our lives and the limbo we have been in for the last 4 months with continuing on with our lives. Today had some "back to reality" moments. I took Meatball for his 3 year well visit to the pediatrician, and was again reminded that we have a "big boy!" He weighed 41 lbs. (the exact same as Woogie - 3 1/2 years older!), and was 41" in height! The doctor volunteered that he thinks Meatball will be a whopping 6'2"-6'4" when he gets done growing! No wonder that kid is eating us out of house and home! Hard to imagine that not to long from now, he will tower over all of us!

We also had some good news about his ears. He had a second surgery in Oct. where they placed one tube because the other eardrum had a hole in it where a previous tube had fallen out. The hole was acting as a tube, so the doctor didn't feel the need to place a new tube in that ear. A couple months ago, he had some drainage and when I took him to the ear doctor, he said that the hole was gone! I was concerned that now he didn't have a way for one of his fluid prone ears to drain. I was also a bit concerned that he didn't seem to be hearing quite as well as he did after the surgery. But today the pediatrician saw the hole and it was confirmed by a test in audiology. He also had a hearing test that showed just some mild conductive hearing loss (due to the tube and hole in his eardrums), but no permanent damage! Praise God! This has always been of particular concern to us, because both Scott and Scott's mother have permanent and rather extensive hearing loss due to the same type of problems that Meatball has had. They still as adults have continued to have major ear surgeries and struggle to maximize their hearing with hearing aids. It is such a relief to know that Meatball will probably not go through these same problems with his ears! It's days like today hearing the good news about my child's health (and his phenomenal growth!) and watching him charm all of the doctors and nurses with his humor and personality that remind me once again how incredibly blessed we are!

Here are some pictures from the last couple weeks. Does this look like a comfortable way to nap?!




This cracked me up! One night , Meatball got up after he had been in bed for an hour or so, picked up Lovebug, lay down on the couch, and they both immediately zonked out! I carried them back to bed that way, and when I checked on him a little while later, she was still in his arms asleep! This cat is really something!Another one of Lovebug's fashion looks! My mom saw this picture and asked me who I thought Legoboy looked like in this picture. I replied that, of course, he looks like Myli! And she said that's what she was thinking! It's the first time she's agreed that there is a significant resemblance. How she hasn't seen it before, I don't know! I can't wait until I can compare them in person...

Blast From The Past

My husband e-mailed me this picture from my senior prom yesterday. I was rather puzzled since I don't remember ever having seen this picture before. It turns out that he ran into an old friend from high school (we didn't go to the same H.S. and he had been out of school for a couple years at this point) who happened to be dating someone from my high school and happened to be at the prom with us. I guess he must have dug this out and scanned it for him. What a neat surprise! Then, this morning I woke up to find it as my screen background. What a romantic guy my husband can be! Maybe it will help me stay on my diet since I will see it in the kitchen every day...

On an adoption note, I'm feeling a little more positive about things. I still don't know how and when all of this will work out, but I really have faith that someday Myli will be ours.